I’m being genuinely serious when I say pray for the children of Robinhood’s marketing team. I feel so bad that an eleven-year-old girl will have to move schools after being bullied because her Dad is an incompetent asshole. FUCKING PUT IN THE DAVE PORTNOY CLIP, WHAT AN IDIOT. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT.
Oh my god. After going against everything they stand for, RobinHood just says, hey, let’s throw in EVERY RACE with EVERY GENDER and America won’t notice that we are a bunch of candy ass puppets with Hedge Fund Managers elbows deep inside our assholes. We are all investors…well unless you wanted to save a brick and mortar family business from dying, then we have to put a cap on you. But hey…hey…here’s five dollars of free stock to a failing pharmaceutical company for getting your sister to download our app.
Do you really think we are that stupid? RobinHood, you have every single guy in his early twenties keeping receipts on you like we are seventeen-year-old girls proving that their high school boyfriend promised not to break up with her when he left for college. You fucked up so bad you got Donald Trump JR and AOC to get together and say, yeah, you suck.
You are Christopher Moltisanti, and we are Tony Soprano’s hand. Get lost.
