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San Francisco HATES Barstool

If you follow Barstool then I’m sure you’ve seen the frequent posts of Dave’s face staring intimately at you before an excited white lady jumps in to talk about waffles or some shit. This is because Dave Portnoy, owner of Barstool, has started a donation fund during this time of uncertainty to raise money for small businesses that have been affected by COVID. This is a great cause and everybody should donate.

https://www.barstoolsports.com/the-barstool-fund

However, San Francisco doesn’t think so. The San Francisco Chronicle, a newspaper from… you guessed it San Fransico, released an article today claiming that the Barstool fund is no good due to Dave’s “history of making racist and misogynistic remarks”. This came after Dave announced their newest small business venture, Tadich Grill in SanFransico. They also accuse the fucking business itself of having issues in the past as if that means anything. Everybody has done shit, everybody deserves a second chance especially during these hard times. I mean It’s not like these guys stormed the U.S. Capitol building with little to no effort and treated it like a ball pit at McDonald’s…

They are trying to go after a donation fund that has raised over 20 million dollars so far. That is not a newspaper’s job. That doesn’t make sense. If anything, I should be the one trying to take down Barstool because of us being “rivals”, when in reality the closest I will ever come to Dave Portnoy is right now typing his name into google docs. You fucked up San Fransico Chronicle. You don’t shit on my rival… only I get to do that. 

The cherry on top of this delicious cake is that I can’t even read the full article. It’s blocked by a paywall, so you have to pay them money to hear about how you shouldn’t pay someone else money. How fucked up is that? Luckily they were some idiots on Twitter that actually pay for this and have a screenshot of part of the article. I’m just kidding, you guys are the real heroes…

So where do we go from here? Well, I had two choices. I could pay the 99 cents to read the full article and more accurately shit on the San Fransico Chronicle, or I could not pay them, shit on them with the information I have, and give my money to the business that actually needs it. That’s what I did. I wanted to donate to the people at Tadich Grill but they were already fully funded so I went to the next available business through The Barstool Fund and gave 5 dollars to Roomers Bar in NY.

So I beg you, reader of these words,  find it in your heart to not give San Fransico Chronicle a single penny, even if you think it would make a blog better.

And just in case there are any nonbelievers out there:

What do you think?

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Written by Conall Lynch

Conall drinks vodka and chases it with a Granny Smith Apple. He likes to say “the mustache is just for content” but deep down wants to keep it.

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