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Science Nerds Say Red Bull Is The Key To Living Forever

Remember when we were all really young and our moms told us that Red Bull was just as bad as black tar heroin? Well, turns out they were wrong and it may just be the key to living forever.

A science study done by Columbia University (nerds) has found that taurine, an ingredient found in energy drinks, can actually help slow down the aging process. In the study, researchers gave mice a bunch of taurine and it actually helped them live an extra four months, which in human time would be equivalent to about seven years.

The researchers concluded that taurine, which is found naturally in the body as well as protein sources such as beef and chicken, helps maintain muscle function, eyesight, and metabolism while also supporting the central nervous system and immune system. Researchers believe that because taurine levels drop in humans as they get older, if we were to somehow keep them constant throughout our aging that in turn we would live longer lifespans. Statistically, a 60-year-old person has only one-third the taurine levels as a 5-year-old, meaning raising taurine levels could actually reverse aging.

Because the initial experiment with mice went so well, the scientists decided to run a similar test on monkeys as they are significantly closer related to humans. The findings showed that monkeys with greater taurine levels experienced lower rates of weight gain, blood sugar and liver damage, while also increasing their bone density and immune systems.

While they can’t fully conclude that taurine will lead to longer lifespans in humans just yet, there is definitely potential and ongoing research. I don’t know if Red Bull will remain the top source of taurine and solely allow you to live forever, but for now it’s definitely worth a shot. So next time your doctor tells you that you’re drinking too much just tell him that they’re vodka-Red Bulls and it’s all good. Stay healthy and go get your wings.

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Written by Alex Becker

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