Selena Gomez Celebrates Birthday with Boat Bikini Pictures

Selena Gomez recently celebrated her thirty first birthday, and let her fans join in on the fun with her. While on vacation in the Hamptons, the singer posted several pictures of her in a revealing bikini while hanging out with her friends. Good for Selena, because it looked like she was having a great time. But even better for her fans who certainly enjoyed her birthday look. 

Selena Gomez has kept a generation of guys under her thumb for years as she transitioned from the Disney Channel to a successful career of her own. Despite this, she is still very publicly single. Her recent Instagram pictures should be enough proof that Gomez will never lack a variety of suitors. I think her friends are to blame for her unsuccessful dating life. 

I’m not judging her for being single, or for her friends being the reason why. I’d like to think my friends have stopped me from achieving intimacy on more than one occasion. But mine don’t take part in the systemic blocking of romance that Gomez’s friend group has achieved. First of all, this is the same friend group Taylor Swift is in. Any man who attempts to date her or any of her friends has to deal with public scrutiny, while also worrying about one of their mistakes becoming next summer’s hottest song lyric. It must be pretty terrifying dating one of these girls.

I’m sure I’ve been the topic of a group chat titled something related to Bachelor in Paradise before. It happens to all young men, and I think we’ve accepted this. What I don’t think I could handle, is being the symbol for misogyny in a Taylor Swift song. The internet turned on Jake Gyllenhaal pretty fast for his relationship with Swift. Imagine how fast they would turn on me when they find out I had nothing to do with the production of the film Prisoners.

It appears Gomez is having plenty of fun. I hope this is the case, because her friends are too scary for most men to even fantasize about her, let alone ask her out.  

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Written by TFM

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