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Slang Saturday Volume II

I had to dig deep this week, the random button for Urban Dictionary kept showing me Sheathing and there’s no acceptable jokes for that. I’ve noticed that a lot of people love pumping up their own name as I scrolled through more than a dozen of names that all said how amazing those people are. So your first random word of the week is…

Jupiter booty has a great ring to it. Much better than a simple big booty or ghetto booty, and Jupiter is a big ass planet, so it makes sense. You click on the explore page of Instagram, and all you will see is Jupiter Booties. Are half of them probably fake? Probably, but when you’re mindlessly scrolling, who cares. Then the tread of these pants took over Tik Tok and made anybody’s butt look like a Jupiter Booty.

P.S. That’s KFC’s ass…

Your second word of the day is…

I have no idea if this story is true, but everybody has walked into a bathroom, and it smells like somebody had just died in there. If there’s Mississippi in the name of anything, you know it’s going to be bad. I’m trying to think if anything out of Mississippi has been good, so M.M.B. seems correct. I know that it says consuming 3 prunes in 2 minutes, but I feel like the same thing could happen if you house a shit ton of Taco Bell at 3 in the morning.

First of all, I understand that Urban dictionary is trying to get people to buy merch, but getting your grandma a mug that says wrist icicle might not be the best. Maybe your grandma is a freak in the sheets and knows exactly what a wrist icicle is, but nobody wants to think about that. Also, how thick does your cum have to be to dangle off of somebody’s wrist? If your cum is thick enough to dangle, you better be wrapping your shit. Thicker cum means higher sperm count. The pull-out method is probably not the best idea for you. Your fourth random word of the day is…

This one makes everybody have a good laugh. I understand rough sex, but biting somebody’s neck so hard that it can leave a scar is a little extreme. It would be hilarious to hear your roommate having sex, and then suddenly you hear a bang as they fall off the bed because they were trying the death roll. One of the rare sex slang on Urban Dictionary that could actually be pleasurable can’t say the same for the last random word that I found. Your last random word of the day is…

Everybody has accidentally seen this on pornhub. You’re beating your meat to some girl getting railed from behind, and then your life flashes in front of your eyes as you see shit you’ve never wanted to see. You know that’s not supposed to happen, and you’re trying desperately to exit the video. You’re closing out tabs telling you that there are random girls near you and to buy pills to grow your dick. Somehow the video won’t close, and your horny brain has gone into survival mode. I have never heard of this happening in real life, but I can’t imagine that it can’t be healthy or feel good. Also, the pink sock neck gaiter imagine trying to protect yourself from Corona, and on the front, it just has the definition of the pink sock.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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