Mailman Dave
I took a little time off from Slang Saturday, but I decided to dive back into the shit hole that is Urban Dictionary and give the people what they want. The first word for Slang Saturday…
Everybody who just read that instantly saw a picture of a hot Instagram model posing for the camera, with her ass stuck out as much as humanely possible. For example:
My back hurts just by looking at this; how can it be comfortable arching your back like that? If you have a big ass arching your back shouldn’t do much, but after scrolling through dozens of Instagram models, they all do it, so it must work. I wonder if guys were to arch their backs the other way could it make our dicks look bigger? The second word is…
Clicking the random button on Urban Dictionary has made me seen a vagina be called many things, but I would’ve never imagined seeing a vagina compared to an otter’s pocket. Do otters even have pockets? I’m trying to think if otters carry their babies like kangaroos, but that doesn’t add up cause they would drown. I probably should’ve paid more attention in my science classes. The third word is…
Truthfully I could probably change this series to shit people in Wales and Scotland say. The number of random words that I’ve seen on the internet from people living in Scotland is insane. A fun rabbit hole is diving into Scottish People Twitter on Reddit. I have no idea what they are saying, but it’s good for some laughs. Also, they toss out the word Cunt around like it’s no big deal. It’s the thing I’m the most jealous of. Cunt is such a good word to say, but people look at you like you’re a monster if you say it in America. Your fourth random word is…
I thought that Guap was the brand that Gwyneth Paltrow had that sold vagina-scented candles. It turns out her company is called Goop. This entire time I thought that Goop sponsored Big Sean, but he was actually saying Guap. Whoops anyway here’s the fifth and final random word…
Sometimes, when searching Urban Dictionary, it makes me bust out laughing; this is one of those times. The first thing I imagined was in a frat house, some guy fucking a girl, and his housemates hearing chirping coming from the bedroom. It turns out that he’s actually having sex, and his room isn’t infested with crickets. Also, my mind instantly went to Jiminy Cricket, getting way too excited about cum. I blame the years of seeing pornhub ads of cartoon characters getting fucked for that.
