Slang Saturday Volume VI Letterkenny Edition

To say I’m obsessed with Letterkenny would be an understatement. In the week and a half that I’ve started watching the show, I’ve already blown through 6 seasons. There are some shows where you get sucked into a completely different world and want to escape there. Or some shows seem to describe your world perfectly, and it’s so accurate that you think you’re in The Truman Show. The town that I grew up in has a population of 800 people, and the town where I went to high school had a population of 2500 people. It’s safe to say that I know the problems of a small town. Also, where I live, it’s only 65 miles to Canada, so I’ve heard some of these Canadian sayings before. Shit, where I grew up, we were so close to Canada that if you hit a homer during a little league game, that ball was crossing the border. So with that said, here is some slang from Letterkenny.

I’ve always called people Charmin soft, but 10 ply is the extreme of that. Here’s a list of people who I think are 10 ply: People that comment on TFM’s Instagram that there are going to block the page, but you’ll see their same comment on the next video, Michael Rapaport, Howie Roseman, and LeBron James.

If you’re from a small town, you can spot somebody who is from the city in a heartbeat, especially when it comes to girls. You’ve never seen a girl that hot in real life, sure; on the internet, you can see all of the babes, but a smoke show in you’re small town is rare. There’s an entire scale for rating hot girls in small towns compared to a city. If a girl is an 8 in a small town, she would be more like a 4 in the city.

I’m shocked that we haven’t seen Billet porn take over yet. I mean, step-sister porn is every other video nowadays. I have to skip through the entire storyline in the beginning just so I don’t have to hear, “oh, stepbrother, please help me.” Are we going to see porn actors with long lettuce carrying a hockey bag and telling their billet sister they can’t take off their pants because their hands are busted from playing?

It’s boring to say that your buddy loves jerking it, so instead, say he mixed a batch or loves to feed the ducks. I understand why you would call it mix a batch, but I don’t understand feed the duck. I’m not going to overthink it and instead giggle about it.

Why would you ever say snort when you can say hoover or rip? I know a lot of people who’ve hoovered and ripped some nose candy in their day. I know one place that doesn’t hoover or rip, and that is people who go to Mizzou. You’ll know what I’m talking about when I write my Undercover Troll next week.

You know you suck in be; iff you have to ask, did you cum? Instead, take a look at her toes, and if you see them curling all the way, you know you’re doing a good job. Some of you sickos are probably already staring at her feet, but it’s not to see if they’re curling. It’s cause you want to suck on them like they’re a god damn lollipop. I’ve heard of bumping uglies but never throwing hip. Like Chubbs said, “It’s all in the hips.”

Are you boys going to get into some schneef this weekend? Maybe take a couple of rips before going out? Wanna smoke some electric lettuce after class today, boys? Or what about we wander into the desert after eating a couple of zoomers. That all sounds better than saying coke, weed, or shrooms. The more creative the slang, the better it is.

That’s just some of the slang from Letterkenny, and I’ll probably have more after I finish the show in a couple of days. It’s the weekend, though; why are you reading this? Get hammered, pitter-patter, let’s get after her.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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