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So You Just Got Dumped

So you just got dumped. You’re sitting there, you don’t know what the fuck to do with yourself because for months, possibly years, you’ve been in a consistent routine, and while maybe it wasn’t great all the time, at this moment, you feel about as broken as the Wii CD when the youngest person in your family had it last. You’re like the 49ers front office right now. You had someone safe, someone, who you could spoon and kiss on the forehead goodnight. Was it the best? No. But it was comfortable despite what your friends or PFF have to say about it…at times; it was great. Now, you don’t know what the fuck you’re going to do; you’ve been drinking too much, and you hate the way that people look at you with pity.

You know, because of how men are that Tinder for girls is basically the same thing as Doordashing genitalia-it’s that easy, and in most cases, that’s probably not going to be the case for you…and that terrifies you. But even though life sucks harder than that one time you got a little curious with a vacuum cleaner when you were twelve, you’re going to be fine. There are two types of people out there: people who do nothing to improve their life and blame the world around them for the position they are in, and people who get up after life hits them like a Worldstar video from 2014. I don’t know you or what your thing is. I can’t tell you it’s going to be easy at first because it’s going to be horrible, but it’s the gym, go to the gym, if it’s making more money, work harder, if it’s getting better grades, stay in the library until the lights shut down like you’re fucking Larry Bird at the Garden. If you’ve always wanted to be the world’s largest pokemon card collector, get a job and save up for that fucking Squirtle…I don’t fucking know!

There’s going to be a lot of nights ahead of you where you stare at the wall wondering where that person is or what they’re doing. You’re not going to be waterboarded eighty-three times in a torture prison (google it), but it’s going to be hard as fuck. I don’t want to sound like one of those goddamn motivational assholes on here, but work on a craft, and good things will come. Keep your head down, eat some shit, and one day you will find yourself on a boat with someone that makes you happier than you’ve ever been, recollecting the pain you felt so long ago.

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