Somebody Call The Kushbulance; Maine Now Has A Cannabis Ambulance

What Does The Cannabis Ambulance Do?

It’s a mobile certification vehicle that visits different cannabis dispensaries and caregivers and helps determine whether someone may be eligible for a medical marijuana treatment plan. It’s operated by Medical Marijuana Practitioners of Maine and you’ll see it pop up from time to time at some notable locations across the state.


If the show Weeds taught me anything, getting a medical marijuana card is very easy. Maine is one of the few states that have fully legalized weed, and they are fully embracing it. People think of Maine as a bunch of rednecks, and that’s probably the truth in the heart of the woods. If living near a bunch of rednecks has taught me anything that they also enjoy smoking Mary Jane. Near the coast their biggest city is Portland. It’s definitely not as weird as Portland, Oregon, but it’s definitely full of hipsters and hippies. Since I was about 7, my family has gone on vacation in Old Orchard Beach. The coast is full of small beach towns that are flooded with 15-year-olds staring at girls in bikinis.

What About House Calls?

On their website, Medical Marijuana Practitioners of Maine do offer ‘house calls’ for those residents living in the Greater Portland area. There’s a multi-step process to getting your medical marijuana card, which includes booking an initial appointment, meeting with a licensed clinician to discuss your ailments, and then being approved. House calls are great for those who may be unable to travel for various reasons.


“Unable to travel for various reasons,” AKA so stoned off their ass that they can’t move. You don’t want to leave your house. You can have your weed delivered, your food delivered, and every entertainment instantly with the internet. Coronavirus might suck for people who enjoy going out, but for people who never want to leave their house, it’s a dream. Especially with companies allowing people to work from home. Why ever leave your house if everything can come to you?

If I Dial 911, Will The Cannabis Ambulance Show Up?

Absolutely not. The cannabis ambulance won’t show up if you dial 420 either. It’s by appointment only or by visiting one of the designated dispensaries they’ll be spending the day at. Medical Marijuana Practitioners of Maine have their upcoming events and visits listed on their website.


I don’t know how it works getting phone numbers, but being able to dial 420 and having the Kushbulance show up at your house a couple of days later sounds perfect. Dumbass stoners will never forget that number, they can make a catchy jingle, and before we know it, they’ll be the next Ghostbusters.

Who you gonna call? The Kushbulance!!!

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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