Nothing in life is perfect. Even your best friends make you want to do to them what Jack Black did to Ron Burgundy’s dog in Anchorman sometimes. This is no different for music. Sometimes a song requires you to skip it just as quickly as it made you turn the speakers up to eleven. Here is a list of those songs that I skip in the middle every time.
“Layla” – Derek and the Dominoes
Did you know this song is in the movie Goodfellas? It took me probably until my tenth rewatch of this to realize that the part of “Layla” that plays when most of the mobsters end up dead is the part of Layla I always skip. The second half of “Layla” is kinda of like the crust of your pizza, but if the crust took up half of the slice. It’s not bad by any means, but I don’t know how you expect me to have any desire to listen to something my parents could’ve slow danced to in the eighties after delivering some hall of fame level air guitar for the previous four minutes. *Shannon Sharpe voice* SKIP!
“Money for Nothing” – Dire Straits
Quite possibly the greatest guitar opening to a song ever. If I were a closing pitcher in the MLB, I’d want to walk out to this song. The only problem: I’d have to jog so I can be standing on the mound ready to go by the time the rest of this abomination of a song starts. Did you know the song is actually about appliances? If you’re not familiar with the chorus, here it is word for word:
We got to install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these color TVs
Seriously, Dire Straits, you guys couldn’t hold that guitar riff until you had something to say? What a waste of good music.
“Money in the Grave” – Drake
This song gets skipped very early on into its run. The intro is solid, and Drake has a nice group of catchy little lines to start the song off. The issue is I have no interest listening to a single word after Drake says, “When I die put my money in the grave,” just one time. It’s about thirty seconds into the song, which means I don’t really remember much of the rest of the song. It doesn’t matter though, because I confidently decided a while ago that I didn’t need the rest of it.
“Roses” – Outkast
The Caroline this song is about seems more than unpleasant. The song itself is great. But I also feel like at times Outkast got distracted by their hatred for Caroline when they should’ve stuck to their formula. The first five minutes of the song don’t need to be touched, but them repeatedly calling her a bitch at the end of the song feels like more of an angry voicemail than an outro to a song.
“Red Right Hand” – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
If the name of this song doesn’t ring any bells, it’s the Peaky Blinders theme song. I can’t suggest anything more in the music world than adding this to all of your playlists and instantly feeling like a badass any time it comes on your shuffle. I want to be Tommy Shelby and so do you, so go to Kohl’s for a jeff cap and listen to this song on the way. Just skip it half way through because eventually you’ll stop feeling like a British gangster, and more like a ginger with penile insecurity. Maybe the last part is just me.
All Katy Perry Songs
These songs are a little different. What I typically do with them is skip them as soon as I realize that a Katy Perry song is on. She’s bad, and I’ll die on this hill.