Now that golf weather is slowly coming back, I wanted to make some things clear “Do’s and Dont” for your golf outings. These are my “do’s and dont’s”, if you don’t like them, feel free to start blogging and make your own list.
Do: Pack Your Own Beer
Here is the thing, you’re paying at least $40 on a round. There is nobody on gods green earth, even the old dude whose wife hates him who works in the Pro Shop that can stop you from smuggling in Coors Light that will be warm by the 8th hole. Realistically, if you’re buying all your beer from the bar or cart girl, you are a rich individual and should probably be playing at a country club. Go ahead and stop at the gas station before you tee off and buy some beer and hide it in your bag.
Dont: Harass the Cart Girl
I really shouldn’t have to put this on the list, but there are still some of you guys that do it. I’ll make this very clear: she doesn’t want you, she wants your money. She couldn’t care less about your 300-yard drive, she wants you to tip her $10 on your $10 bill. There is nothing more annoying than your buddy who is 6 beers deep on Hole 3 and he has the confidence of Pete Davidson with the cart girl.
Do: Enjoy the Weekend
Nobody golfs enough. For us common folk who work a 9-5 and play once a week, we need to be reminded that life is short and we need to have a good time. This is the 5 hours of our whole week that we can just kick back and hang with our buddies. Make sure your phone is on “Do Not Disturb” and don’t look at your phone unless your checking TFM Twitter or changing the music.
Dont: Take It Too Seriously
This goes along with the previous point. You shouldn’t take it too seriously. If you are stuck behind some trees, kick the ball out. Nobody wants to see you hit 6 shots trying to get out while everyone else is already putting. Unless it’s for money, short putts are gimmes and breakfast balls are mandatory. We’re all just trying to have fun and nobody is on the tour so calm down.
Do: Get A Hotdog At The Turn
The sacredness between a man and a wiener at the turn is something special. I could be +30 through 9 but when I get an overpriced hot dog, everything changes.
Dont: Go To The Driving Range
My friends and I always skip the driving range before our rounds because we are “saving our good shots for the course”. Driving Ranges are the biggest waste of time known to man. You’re gonna get your time and money’s worth at the bar rather than the driving range. Spend the pre-round time in the bar getting a Tom Collins or Arnold Palmer to get those jitters away.