If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you’ll know that I tend to get incredibly angry at stuff that would be a lot easier to just let go. I was going to lie and tell you that it’s something that I’m working on, but it’s easier to just admit that I’m content with raising my blood pressure over complete nonsense. These are some of the things that get me irrationally angry:
Cyclists
The only time I ride a bike is when I’m down the shore and too drunk and lazy to walk. The rest of the time, I drive my car because I’m an adult. If you want to bike for exercise, then go to a trail or something and do it there. Not only do these assholes mess with traffic, but there’s way too much bulge on display for my taste.
Concerts on Snap Story
I’m happy that you went to a concert. Personally, I didn’t want to go because I don’t like the artist enough to spend money on it. Logic should tell you that means that I don’t want to see the entire thing on your story. Especially since you’re scream-singing every lyric being the only thing that’s audible.
Outlets with Limited Prong Holes
If you’re making an outlet, why in God’s good name did you decide to leave out the big hole for the beefy prong? Are there electricians who think I don’t use big prongs just as much as small prongs? Two prong holes just isn’t enough.
Non-Perforated Looseleaf
I don’t know how they’re getting away with it, but there are notebook companies out there that don’t perforate their pages, and it drives me insane. I pride myself on being able to make a real clean tear, but that talent is wasted when there’s no perforation.
People That Try to Go By a Different Name in College
If you’ve gone by one name for your entire life, you don’t get to change it just because you’re now in college 300 miles from home. I’m sorry that your lifelong nickname sounds like something someone with Alzheimers would call a remote, but that’s what you’re stuck with.
Anyone that says “Slay” Unironically
For anyone reading that knows me personally, this is your official warning that if I ever hear you say “slay” in a way that doesn’t seem like you’re 100% kidding, I’m going to punch Tom in the face, I’m going to rip my shirt open, I’m going to take a f*cking dump on the ground. I’m going to go apeshit.
The French
Just don’t like ‘em. No justification needed.
Sand
You know what’s better than sand? Pretty much everything. I hate sand. It gets all up on my junk and makes my balls itch when I’m at the beach.
To offset the negativity of all that stuff that just gets me irrationally angry, here’s a photo of Sydney Sweeney. She’s showing cleavage:
