Summer 2023 Rules

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People enjoying sunset from rooftop bar

It is officially the week after Memorial Day, the unofficial start of summer. After some long thought and pondering, here are my personal rules for this summer. If you don’t agree with them, kick rocks. This is my blog and I just wanna help you guys out.

Be on Rooftops: What’s better than being drunk with your friends? Being drunk with your friends at a rooftop bar. You’re going to be paying at least $20 for a watered-down margarita, but it will be so worth it because you’re on a rooftop. Sneak some shooters in and take them into the bathroom if you want to get crazy. Life is better on a rooftop.

Wear Linen: If you wanna look like you just spent a month in Italy without spending all the money. Go to H&M and buy yourself some linen clothing. Not only will you look good, but girls will also love it because they think you’re cultured. Also, using the caption “Linen Livin'” on your Instagram stories is priceless.

Go to the 2nd, not the 3rd: The more I have matured, the more I have realized that going to the second bar is always a must, but going to the third is a waste of time. The first bar is almost entirely the same conversation every time; “How is work?” and “What have you been up to?”. The second bar consists of; “What are your deepest ambitions in life?” and “Why are you still in love with your ex-girlfriend from 5th grade?”. Make sure to attend the second bar with all the lads, but go ahead and call the Uber when they’re headed to the third.

Mix in a Water: Nothing worse than being the overly drunk guy on a Saturday morning at mimosas. For every 3 mimosas, take a sip of water. It will save you in the long term and the hangover won’t be as bad.

Venmo: There is nothing worse than the guy that waits 3-4 business weeks to send you the $15 for brunch. Don’t be that guy, just go ahead and Venmo right away.

No Hard Drugs before 5 PM: Do I need to explain myself on this one? If you’re doing any type of hard drugs before the working class gets off, you need to look at yourself and make some changes. There is absolutely no reason to hit the slopes at 11 AM at a place that sells $7 iced coffee and overpriced breakfast burritos.

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