Brady White
For most college students across the country, the school year has come to a close. While we spend most of our lives seeing summer vacation as a much-needed break from grueling seven-hour school days, our perspective seems to change once we get into our four glorious years of college education. What was once a time to go to summer camps and hang out with friends all day has now become a scary four-month glimpse into the rest of our lives. Whether you have the internship of a lifetime or are doing whatever you can to keep your parents off your back, summer break is a hard time for all. You go from being able to justify a Tuesday night send with the boys, to having to explain to your mom that shotgunning a beer is not a degenerate move. Because this is something I know a lot of us struggle with, I have decided to give you guys a quick 3-step survival guide that is gonna help you get through the dog days of summer.
Get out of the house
The single worst thing about moving home is that all the newfound freedom you had on your college campus is snatched out from under you. Don’t get me wrong, getting your laundry done for you and not having to eat meals at the frat house is a massive win, but I’ve been home for three days and I already miss having Busch Light for dinner. When moving back under your parent’s roof gets to be too much, the key is to get out of the house. Schedule a quick round of golf with the lads, get high and go to Dicks Sporting Goods, or even go to your local park and overpower some middle schoolers in basketball. The sky is truly the limit with this one. This tip is going to come in clutch when your parents hit you with the “What are your plans this summer” question.
Get a Job
Getting your parents off your back is truly an art form and this tip is going to help you master your craft. If your parents are anything like mine, you’ll probably have a solid week of golf and going to the park before the hammer gets dropped. The way you approach this conversation is crucial to whether or not you are going to make it out alive. Don’t tell your parents your delivering pizzas tell them that you’re interning in Italian cuisine distribution. Instead of saying you’re a camp counselor, say you’re exploring a specialization in child education. If you can’t get a job, fake that you have one because otherwise, you are going to need to rely heavily on tip 1(Get out of the house).
Drinking Under the Radar
When you move home from college you realize that it is a lot more difficult to convince your peers to drink on a Tuesday. That is simply because your potential candidates went from being your alcoholic frat brothers to your 12-year-old brother. As a result of this, your parents become sorority-level sober monitors. The first thing you have to do is to stock up on what is commonly known as seltzer. I prefer to call them virgin white claws, but that’s just me. The next time your parents cut you off at the family function, snag some vodka from the mini bar and turn those virgin white claws slutty. Some of you might be sitting there thinking this is a major alcoholic move, and honestly, it is, but what has college taught us if it isn’t that Saturday mornings are the best time to drink? Even if it is at your little brother’s tee-ball game.
