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Tabloid Thursday: Selena Gomez + Ben Affleck Is In Hell

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - MAY 10: (L-R) Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez attend "The Mother" Los Angeles Premiere Event at Westwood Village on May 10, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix)

It’s Tabloid Thursday. Girls want you to care about whatever they are talking about, that’s where this weekly blog comes in. Every Thursday, I’ll break down the biggest stories from the last week so you can impress your wife, girlfriend, or the random girl you met on Tinder. The days of mansplaining stupid sports knowledge at the bar are over. 

Selena Gomez Liver: Apparently, Francia Raisa and Selena Gomez had a major falling out, and it all went down because Selena couldn’t put the booze down after Francia gave her a freaking kidney. This is all speculation, but Francia has a point. According to El Cucuy, Francia’s dad, Selena, and Francia got into a major fight when Selena was hitting the bottle.

I’m really on Francia’s side on this one. If you give someone your kidney, I feel like you can tell them what to do in some sense. She stepped up and donated her own kidney to Selena in 2017 when her lupus caused her kidney to fail and now Selena is just getting shitty. Crazy.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez: Looks like Bennifer is on the rocks after this new video shared on social media. While the commentary on this video says “Chivalry isn’t dead”, we all know he slammed that door like an upset boyfriend. We have all been there, including me, with their girlfriends (no big deal) after a fight. The way he is walking is just a telltale sign. The huffing and puffing makes me think she said something like “Do you even love me?” or “If I had no legs, would you stay with me?”. The over-exaggerated closing of the door and walking around to the driver’s side make this my favorite video of the week.

I really hope they break up because the real true love was J-Lo and A-Rod but we were all robbed from that beautiful relationship.

I know this ain’t the most thrilling news for all of us, but you know what they say – “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. So, next time you’re at dinner with your girl, drop some of the knowledge you gained from this blog and watch her face light up. Let’s be real, she puts up with our football-induced mental breakdowns every Sunday from September to February, so the least we can do is show we care, am I right?

Written by TFM Stelly

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