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TFM Week In Review: 1

We Made The News: If you live in Miami, you probably saw that TFM received credit on your local news channel/The Miami Herald for this Tweet 

Two high school kids (auto-bids) got arrested after the cops caught up to the one guy running (Dominic Glass), and the other (Adam Asad) flexed that he was the one that opened the door on his Tik Tok account. Speaking on Asad bragging about opening the car door, the Clearwater, Florida police chief said, “He bragged he was going to be famous for his actions, now he’s in jail.” I want to make something crystal fucking clear; this was 100% worth two-years of probation and one-hundred and fifty hours of community service. This video will go down with the Alabama Leprechaun and the Poop Shotgun as one of the funniest clips I’ve ever seen. A couple of eighteen-year-old kids buzzing off some white claws had a Wade ‘oopin it to Lebron esque moment.

I have maybe three people in my life I would’ve done that for; that’s levels of team chemistry only achieved by continually pressing X in your 2K post-game interviews. I’d like to imagine that these guys laugh about this during a wedding post, and I’d also like to formally offer them jobs here in a few years. A phenomenal find by social media intern Toby.

Oral Roberts Beat Ohio State: Blowjob Bob beating a team composed of three and four stars is too fucking funny. After the game, Ohio State fans spent the night DMing menacing things to debatably their best player, as the campus of Oral Roberts went insane

On a serious note, I hope this Oral Roberts team fights its way into the Sweet Sixteen. I’m pretty sure Max Abrams is the reincarnation of Kemba Walker; holy shit is that guy is fun to watch. We also released some merch found here.

Alyssa Is Murdering Her Ex-Boyfriend On Twitter: It is a bad weekend to be Alyssa Schoener’s ex-boyfriend.

As a 5’8 guy myself, this one particularly pierced right through me.

I mean, you HAVE to know that you have to be on your best behavior if you’re going to date a girl that’s Twitter following is one-hundred times the number you see when you open your Wells Fargo app.

Bowling Green Hazing Death: According to The Columbus Dispatch, Bowling Green has enlisted a former U.S. Attorney to investigate an alleged hazing death at PIKE. A twenty-year-old Sophomore, Stone Foltz, was found unconscious with a low pulse by his roommates following an event at the PIKE house. First and foremost, this is incredibly heart-breaking. Seeing anybody pass away with so much life left to live is awful, and it’s only appropriate that Bowling Green students feel the weight of this situation before they worry about the state of Greek Life going forward. There’s not enough information available to make a judgment call, and I hope that the BGSU administration doesn’t feel the need to do anything rash due to pressures from the media. If it turns out that Foltz’s death resulted from hazing with alcohol, I hope that this is yet another learning experience for everybody (that we should all know by now) that you shouldn’t ever haze pledges with hard alcohol. 

TFM Girl Of The Week:

@Brooke.tomas on Instagram. You’re Welcome 🤝.

TFM Twitch Gets Drunk:

Ever wanted to see a guy that looks like the understudy for the child molester in a Law & Order SVU episode get drunk off bottom-shelf liquor and play video games? 

I can’t lie; what @TFMCMAN has been doing on Twitch is some of the weirdest, inexplicably entertaining stuff I’ve consumed since my WatchMojo top-ten phase. If you have some free time, I’d 100% recommend his “You Follow, I Drink” Friday steams. 

New Merch: 

These are selling like cigarettes in a half-way house. You can find the PacMan one here, and the bad day shirt here.

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Written by Bobby D'Angelo

TFM middle school penis game champion. Rutgers student.

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