Conall Lynch
Welcome to WatchMojo and today we are counting down our picks for “The 12 Best Months Of The Year To Get Wasted.” JK I’m just some loser on the internet but let’s argue…
- June– I mean, is this such a surprise? June is like that one friend that never fails to disappoint when you see them. It’s the beginning of summer, you finally start seeing more of your friends, and it’s finally acceptable to get drunk during the day.
- February– I like February because everyone thinks it sucks. Not only is it my birthday in February so I’m a little biased, but nobody expects you to be a blackout on a random Tuesday.
- December- The main months that begin each season seem to be everyone’s favorite time to get drunk. Not to mention, hearing the same 20 Christmas songs on repeat in every store, radio station, and TikTok trend really make this a great month to blackout at any social function… of which, December usually has a lot of.
- July– This is the prime time day drinking experience. Everybody enjoys those mid-day drinks that keep you just drunk enough to keep forgetting to put on sunscreen. I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, and actual hints of emotion as a man. Life is good today, life is good today.
- November– November is underrated. you THINK you are only going to be drinking on Thanksgiving, but then you realize football is in full swing, people start having campfires and suddenly those pumpkin IPAs start hitting different.
- January– New year, new me is what you’re thinking. So Let’s see if I can finally complete my new year’s resolution of getting drunk every day in January. you can try it too. Go get drunk every day of the month and lose close connections with your friends and family…
- October– October is overrated. the only good day to drink is Holloween and even then it’s at a bunch of parties with people who smell like plastic.
- May– Y’all really thought you had something here. On paper, May seems like the perfect month to drink. The weather is getting warm, people are going outside but there’s just something about birds singing and people being happy that makes me want to be sober for some reason. May is just a bunch of people who haven’t killed themselves yet.
- September– Another awkward “transition month” where you don’t know if you should be drinking because it’s too hot or too cold. Also, I just thought of the idea of a month transitioning like if it was a white girl on Twitter in need of some attention. Like if a December suddenly wanted to become a June and went through a transition because they “identify as a summer month” and has “hot/beach” in their bio. Also, Most Liquor stores see the word “September” and start rolling out their fall shit. Now, your drinking some fucking pumpkin IPA in 90-degree weather.
- March– What is there to drink for in March? I WOULD say that drinking for International Women’s Day is fun, but every time I do I get yet another restraining order. There is so little going on in March that March 26 is national “Make Up Your Own Holiday Day”. That means everyone collectively agrees there is NOTHING worth celebrating in March.
- August– I know we all SAY we like the summer because it’s warm and is an excuse to drink every day, but by the time August comes, I think enough is enough. There’s only so much day drinking you can do before you get too tired after your third shot and it’s only 4 pm. Drinking in August is like jerking off 6 times in one day. Everyone’s been there, and nobody wants to admit it isn’t as good as you think.
12. April– I don’t think a single sip of alcohol is consumed in the month of April. What’s even the point of April? It’s one of those “transition months” that makes it really awkward to even do anything. It’s either too cold and raining or too warm and raining so any drinking you’re doing just looks sad to other people.
