There are many, many things that one has to be aware of when in college, and one of them is that there are some girls who are, as my title reads, dangerous. They’re the ones that can really fuck your day up. They’ll have you in the palm of your hands – right before they pick you up by the nuts and chuck you to the side. These five girls are not to be trifled with, no matter how hot.
The One Who Repeatedly Cheats on Her Boyfriend and Tells Him About It
The biggest issue here isn’t that she’s cheating on her boyfriend, but that one day, that guy is going to be there (and holy shit is he going to hate you). So now, you’re not only kind of a dirtbag for hooking up with a chick with a boyfriend, but you also have to worry about the fact that the guy she’s actually dating is going to be ready to beat the shit out of someone (because, c’mon, he’s got to blame somebody). And let’s face it, you don’t want that guy to be you. On top of that, this girl’s already a proven nutjob for continuously cheating and telling the guy, so you have zero clue how the crazy bitch is going to factor in. Best to just stay away in general.
The String You Along
This should be pretty easy to understand: don’t get caught simping. The girl that gives you just enough interaction to keep you interested but never lets you in for real can be lethal. Right when you think you’re in and she’s going to finally give in to your valiant efforts, she’ll end up snubbing you big time. The reason she’s so dangerous is that she always leaves you just enough to keep you interested, but she has no intentions of ever giving in. You’ll keep giving her loads of attention (which every girl loves), and she’ll sit back and laugh while she watches your efforts (wassup, Amanda!).
The Aggressively into You
For whatever the reason may be, this girl wants it – and she doesn’t hesitate to let you know. She’s all up on you whenever you hang out, and her friends are constantly trying to set you up. Beware, though. If you end up drunk and lonely, you may consider calling her up. Don’t. Let me break down for you what will happen. You’ll spend one night with her, and then you’ll end up with her for months. Somehow when you give in once, you end up in a relationship you don’t even enjoy. To make matters even worse, though, she’ll have you totally and completely whipped – like don’t-take-a-shit-without-her-permission-type whipped.
The “One of the Guys”
The danger of this girl is completely un-sexual in nature. The issue comes from how chill she actually is. She’ll be around so much that it really does seem like she is the chilliest girl you’ve ever met, but right when you get comfortable is when you have to start worrying. Eventually, you’ll forget that even though she feels like one of the guys, she is most definitely not, and the way that you really rip into your closest friends doesn’t fly with her. You’ll end up calling her a cocksucker at the wrong time, and she’ll lose it on you completely. It’s not anything particularly wrong with her. You just have to make sure that you remember that even if it feels like it, she is not “one of the guys.”
The One from Tinder
These aren’t all bad. In fact, many are quite, quite fantastic. But sometimes you get a real freaking wackjob and you can’t tell until you meet her in person. Go into any Tinder date with a great reason for leaving because if she sucks, you’re going to fucking rip out of there. Also, every Tinder girl ever has an escape plan, so why shouldn’t you?
That’s it. You can begin calling me an “incel” now.