As I’m sitting here waiting for my flight to start boarding, I can’t help but ponder the significance of situational beers. You know what I mean, right? A situational beer is that brew you chug before a wild vacation, a huge party, or some life-altering moment. I might be getting a little philosophical here, but hear me out.
Airport Beer: The ultimate “situational beer” is the airport brewski, no doubt about it. You don’t even gotta be going on a 5-day trip to Mexico to crack open one of these bad boys. There’s nothing that’ll pump you up more for a grueling 3-hour flight, complete with a wailing infant, than slamming back a $12 cold one at the airport bar. Bonus points if you run into some random old dude who’s the spitting image of Jimmy Buffet and wants to chat about the 2020 election after only one Blue Moon.
After the Beach Beer: Let me set the scene for you: You’re posted up in some bougie beach town where you gotta drop 8 bucks just to snag a single scoop of ice cream. You’ve been chillin’ on the sand with your girl for like 5 hours straight, so your skin’s crispy and there’s sand everywhere, including your butt crack. Finally, you make it back to your girl’s parents’ timeshare and you hop in the shower, but that shower has to be freezing or else your skin will fall off. But then, you step out and grab a frosty brew. Life is freakin’ amazing and there’s nothin’ that can harsh your vibe right now.
Shower Beer: The shower beer is sacred marriage between beast and man. The only time you’re drinking this beer is if you’re on the top of the world or the scum of the earth. There is something special about a cold beer in a steamy shower. It is almost the equivalent of hours with the best therapist in the world.
Reunion Beer: This is my personal favorite on this list. The reunion beer puts a smile on my face every time. This takes place when all the boys are back in town and you go back to the dive bar where your fake ID was taken Junior year of high school and is still plastered on the wall for future generations to see. You head out to the bar and enjoy half-priced Coors Lights while reminiscing of the old days when you averaged 7.3 PPG your senior year.