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The Best Articles Of Clothing From Every Generation Of Fraternity Male

Through the years, we can all agree that the clothing styles of College students have changed drastically. I mean, in what feels like a few years, sorority girls have gone doing blow in Sundresses to *checks notes* doing blow dressed somewhere in between Miley Cyrus and a Party City costume of a slutty French maid. Even though college guys have turned the page on some outfits, a few classics still reign supreme. There will never be a time where you’ll get shit for wearing a Champion crewneck or New Balance 574’s. Today I’ll be going through each generation of College Guy and picking what I deem the best clothing articles. We will also be starting in the 1970’s because nobody wants to wear a fucking sweater.

Sunglasses(1970-1979): Pretty limited selection here. I feel like the only time I’d confidently say I wouldn’t want to be a college student in (besides now- of course) would be the 1970’s. I hate how romanticized the ’70s are. I like Dazed and Confused as much as the next guy, but a lot of the “hippies” that ran college campuses in the 70’s now have lakefront properties and sizable 401ks…so I don’t really know how effective the whole “stick it to the man” thing was. I will say, though, whenever I see pictures of college kids from the 70’s, their sunglasses always strike me. So yeah…let’s go with the shades.

Short Shorts (1980-1989):

Personally, I’m not too fond of shorts. I have pasty ass thighs that haven’t seen a leg press since high school hockey. With that being said, five-inch seams never get old, especially if you’re at a point in life where you’re in decent shape. Coming off of COVID, I haven’t seen too many people rocking these this summer, but we’ll be back in summer 2022, boys. If you’re currently in college, you know damn well 80’s clothes have been making a comeback for years now. Everyone knows a kid that runs an Instagram page where he sells cool clothes that he’s thrifted. It’s a tough decision because this was a sick era for clothing, but I have to go with the shorts.

Hats (1990-1999):

I know “dad hats” are “in” right now, but you can miss me with that bullshit. In my opinion, they don’t make hats like they used to anymore. As a guy that wears a hat almost every day, I have about twelve that I stole from my grandfather’s attic, and from that, two that I intermittently wear every day. If you’re a guy that appreciates a good hat as much as I do, I strongly recommend this website (not an ad, I just really fuck with these hats):

Fishing Shirts (2000-2010)

Every single shitty fraternity stereotype stems from this period. Jimmy Tatro started his career poking fun at the prototype of fraternity males from this era. Sperrys, Polos, Club Shorts, Pink Whales, Brooks Brothers all saw their best days while we were upvoting “THANKS OBAMA” memes on iFunny. An Ole Miss pledge from 2008 dressed like an LGBTQ easter basket. I’m not hating; if I went to college during this time, I sure as shit would’ve conformed to wearing what was cool, I’ve just always been confused over the fact that a bunch of 5’8 guys were so stoked on wearing boat shoes. With all that being said, Orvis sport fishing shirts FUCK. 

Obscure Jerseys (2010-2020):

In 2015, Aliexpress went from a website that fulfilled bulk orders for business owners to a website where consumers could buy individual articles of clothing for next to nothing. Essentially, the NCAA played whack-a-mole with small Chinese vendors that were putting out the coolest fucking jerseys the world had ever seen. Personally, it was my favorite era of clothing. Every friend group had a kid who rocked a Bo Jackson Auburn Baseball jersey like it was their uniform for blacking out. Here’s a quick list of the most unique jerseys I remember seeing during the summer of 2016:

5. Hideki Matsui Tokyo Giants:

4. Rusty Kuntz KC Royals (my friend had this, it was hilarious when I was sixteen and it’s just as funny now):

3. Barry Sanders Oklahoma State:

2. Jackie Robinson Brooklyn Dodgers:

  1. Satchel Paige Kansas City Monarchs: AND I NEED TO PREFACE THIS LAST ONE BY SAYING I WOULD NEVER WEAR THIS/ ENCOURAGE OTHER WHITE GUYS TO WEAR THIS….BUT I swear to god I once saw a white kid at a concert wearing a Satchel Paige Kansas City Monarchs Jersey…yep…from the segregated league. I don’t know what he was trying to say by wearing it, but as one of the few people that knew where that jersey was from…it was one of the most shocking things I’ve seen in person. Truly jawdropping. I’m not a race-baiting weirdo like half the internet is, but COME ON, that’s an insane choice of shirt for Rae Sremmurd.

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Written by Bobby D'Angelo

TFM middle school penis game champion. Rutgers student.

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