This morning I pranked my five roommates. They don’t yet know that the prank has happened. If they read this blog, they will indeed find out. I had no real reason to do this prank. We’ve only all been here for a few days at this point, and the character assassination amongst the six of us has been relatively low. I was simply bored this morning when I got up and cleaned our back deck, so I decided to do the most dick-headed thing I could think of. It’s called “Utensil Roulette.”
Yes, I did come up with Utensil Roulette, but I encourage each of you reading to give this game a try. Here’s how it works:
You’ll want to begin this game by selecting one piece of silverware from each of the utensil groups. You should end up with one spoon, one fork, and one butter knife. It is essential that you have the butter knife. Using a steak knife or something similar could prove dangerous for step three.
Take out your nuts.
Touch each utensil to your scrotum.
Place each utensil back in the drawer and mix it around. You don’t want it to be sitting up on the top.
Eat only sandwiches until you feel confident that one of your roommates has lost Utensil Roulette.
That’s the prank. The best part about it is that your roommates won’t even know that they’re playing Utensil Roulette, and one of them will use a fork/spoon/knife that was at one point touching your nuts. I seriously can’t think of something more childish and immature, so I’m feeling pretty proud of that. I have a feeling that in the next few hours of my day, I’ll be hearing some very choice words from my roommates about my decision to involve them in Utensil Roulette after one of them reads this, so I’d like to say this to them: Fellas, I’m not sorry.