As a dude, I have very few interests. Here, I’ll list all of them very quickly: sports, food, anything with Adam Sandler, and animals wearing funny costumes. Due to my lack of interests, I am extremely knowledgeable on these few subjects. Sure, people know more about sports than I do, but I highly doubt they eat fast food as much as me. So, I’m gonna put all of the cholesterol in my body to good use and lay out the best menu item from the top ten fast food chains in the nation. I’m doing this based off of the top ten best selling chains in the US from 2019 (yes, I would’ve liked to use 2023, but I couldn’t find that info in less than a minute). Without further ado, here are the best fast food items by restaurant.
#1. McDonald’s: McDouble
If you think the Big Mac or Quarter Pounder should take this spot you need to up your financial literacy. McDonald’s has been raising prices over the years and at this point both Big Macs and Quarter Pounders with Cheese now cost over $6. That’s just for the sandwich alone. You can get two McDoubles for that price. At $2.97 a piece, McDoubles are value city. Two McDoubles is way more filling than a single Big Mac. Plus, now that they have sides of Mac Sauce, you can basically make anything a Big Mac.
#2. Starbucks: Cake Pop
I’ll tell you all straight up, I’m biased when it comes to Starbucks. I’m just not a fan. Everytime I walk into that place I feel like a cow in a horse stable. Everyone in there is wearing yoga pants and somehow deathly allergic to normal milk. It’s not for me. That said, cake pops be hittin’. In general, I think Starbucks’ food is highly overrated. The breakfast sandwiches are simply not good and taste like Jimmy Dean microwavable meals. However, mashed up birthday cake on a stick at 9am, well that’s just hard to say no to.
#3. Subway: Anything on italian herbs & cheese bread other than chicken breast
The best part of Subway is the smell. In comparison to the way it smells, the food is just absolute doggo. Yet, that italian herbs & cheese bread is magnificent. I will say, none of the meat options at Subway are particularly great. However, for the most part they can all be hidden with cheese, vegetables, and sauce. That is, except for the chicken breast. I don’t know what’s with that stuff, but the big ol’ block of frozen, rubbery chicken just doesn’t cut it for me. If you want a chicken option, I suggest turkey (close enough) or rotisserie chicken.
#4. Taco Bell: Cheesy Gordita Crunch
Okay, here’s the thing with Taco Bell. They always do some sort of limited time item. If we include all of those, by far the best item is the Naked Chicken Chalupa (add beef). Yet, because that is rarely available, I’d have to say the Cheesy Gordita Crunch takes the number one spot. It’s got everything you want from a hard shell to a soft shell to mystery meat to the perfect chipotle mayo. What else could you ask for? Oh, cheese. Yes, there is a lot of cheese too.
#5: Chick-Fil-A: Spicy Tenders
I know I’m pissing a ton of people off with this one. If you think nuggets are the best thing at Chick, please grow up. Now, not every location sells spicy tenders. If that’s the case, spicy sandwich over regular tenders all day. Yet, for the special locations that hook it up, spicy tenders are unmatched. Tendys are the best chicken-to-breading ratio at CFA and we all know the spicy reigns supreme. Dip those in some garlic and herb ranch and you gots yourself a Michelin level meal for under $10.
#6. Wendy’s: Spicy Nuggets
Wendy’s has been doing spicy nugs way before any of these fools tried to copy suit. Do I think Wendy’s is the best fast food option out there? Hell no (although lowkey they got fire breakfast now). Yet, the spicy nugs are pretty elite.
#7. Burger King: Chicken Fries
Honestly, this was a close decision. I was between Chicken Fries and the Hershey’s Pie, but had to give the edge to Chicken Fries. If you haven’t had the Hershey’s Pie, go do yourself a favor and pick that up. It’s probably the best fast food dessert in the game. However, Chicken Fries are just a classic staple in the fast food game. I don’t know what it is about them, but jeez i could legitimately eat 100 of them no problem.
#8. Dunkin’: Bacon, Egg, and Cheese
It was hard not to go donut here, but considering Dunkin’ offers a 2-for-$5 deal on BECs it was the clear choice. I personally like mine on a croissant, but a bagel works just as well. It’s not the best BEC I’ve ever had, but the second one really helps. If you want to know my favorite donut, it’s an old fashioned blueberry glazed. Dunkin’ over Starbs all day, every day.
#9. Domino’s: Not Pizza
Again, this was a tough one. So tough, in fact, that I couldn’t really make a decision. There are a bunch of good things at Domino’s. One thing that isn’t good is the pizza. Honestly, calling it pizza seems a little derogatory towards pizza. Yet, the molten lava cakes, cheesy bread, and cookie brownie are unbelievable. I couldn’t choose which I like the most so I just went with them all. Kinda exactly how I order from them, too.
#10. Panera: You Pick Two with Broccoli Cheddar Soup
I am a massive Panera fan. If you’ve ever ordered on Panera’s website, you know they have the best interface for ordering food ever. Everything is completely customizable. That is why I say the best thing you can get is a You Pick Two with a Broccoli Cheddar Soup. Get any type of sandwich you want, I literally mean anything that’s how custom it is nowadays, and a cup of what is basically cheese sauce on the side. You can then dip your sandy into the vat of melted cheese before you ultimately finish the “soup” with some chips and a spoon. Personally, I get grilled cheese as the sandwich and then add chicken, bacon, and chipotle sauce. Dip that in some extra cheese on the side and enjoy.
Well dammit. Now I’m starving.