The Diamondbacks And This Random Friend Are The Ultimate Creep

There’s always one friend who wants to know every fucking detail of your life. They ask how your date went; they ask strange details about your sex life like they will put these details into their spank bank for later. They are the friend that looks you up on Snap map and have read receipts on for everybody, and wonders why you don’t have the same. To say they are clingy would be an understatement. Well, it looks like whoever runs the Arizona Diamondbacks Twitter account and this friend are the clingy friend.

I know that’s a lot of tweets that I just embedded, but I know a lot of you don’t like Twitter, and instead of sending you to a place where people are arguing about politics while having pronouns in their bio, I’ll show you the tweets instead.

Jesus Christ, let’s make this date even more awkward. Bringing a girl to a baseball game sounds great, but there’s not a lot happening in a baseball game which leaves a lot of time to talk. This isn’t texting where you can delete your message 4 times before actually sending it; you can’t read the messages aloud to make sure you don’t sound like a jackass. You have one shot and one shot only when you actually have to talk. From the tweet, it sounds like this couple is only on their 2nd date. Maybe they’ve done a little more than a kiss, but they probably haven’t stayed the night. They are just getting to know each other, and let’s broadcast their date to the entire internet.

This makes me think that Buck Army either is secretly in love with this guy, and hopes that this date fails, or he’s secretly in love with the girl. The more logical part is that this Buck Army is a YouTuber and did all of this for the clout. I’m trying to think like a normal person and not somebody who does anything only for likes and views.

If he did this for clout, it obviously worked since his name is all over Twitter, but did spying on his date actually help the date go better? I would assume that it’s a no and made the date very awkward and embarrassing. I know I would be embarrassed. This guy was trying to bring this girl home, and instead, his roommate made the entire internet watch his date live.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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