Peter Baker
Whether your pledge class has ten guys or fifty, you’ll always encounter certain personalities regardless of the college or fraternity. In my experience, there are typically five types of kids that are extremely necessary to construct a well-rounded and cohesive pledge class. I’m sure you can already guess a couple of them, but here are the five kids in every fraternity pledge class:
The “Super Pledge”
Everyone knows that pledging a fraternity is hard and time-consuming. At any point throughout the day and night, brothers can ask for pretty much anything and you have to do it. Oftentimes, these requests will be nearly impossible to complete, but not for the “super pledge”. The “super pledge” is that one kid in your pledge class that tries to do every single favor all by himself. Sure, the brothers will love him because he’ll make nightly trips to the Chick-fil-A thirty minutes away to pick up food, but the “super pledge” won’t be as highly regarded within the pledge class. Resentment will start to build once the first pledge rankings come out and he’s far above everyone else for all the sucking-up he’s been doing. Every pledge class has a top pledge, but you don’t want to be that guy – unless you don’t mind being hated.
Mr. Clutch
Mr. Clutch is what the “super pledge” thinks he is. This pledge might not have the most outspoken personality, but his actions truly speak volumes. Mr. Clutch is the type of guy to down an entire bottle of tequila during a lineup so no one else has to suffer. This might be because he’s a closeted alcoholic, but it certainly isn’t for clout. Mr. Clutch will always pick up the requests that no one wants to fulfill (even the “super pledge”) without holding it over anyone’s head. Although he might never make it to that top spot in the pledge rankings, Mr. Clutch is without a doubt the most beloved guy in the entire pledge class.
The Stoner
In no sense am I promoting the use of drugs to numb the pain of awful situations – but pledgeship is a different animal. From day one, the pledge class stoner will never not be high. It goes without saying that the stoner is the most “chill” kid in the pledge class. However, this kid will quite literally do nothing to positively contribute as a pledge. Late-night ride? Nope. Post-party cleaning? Never. Sunday lineup? I’ve got [insert common illness here]. But, no one really gets too upset at the stoner since he always gives everyone free bong rips. Just stay away from the edibles he tries to sell you – otherwise, you’ll come face-to-face with god.
The Gambling Addict
At this point, sports betting amongst college kids might be a larger pandemic than COVID ever was. Even I’ll admit it, throwing a couple of bucks on amateur cricket is way more fun than it should be. But, I can confidently say that I’ve got my sports betting under control. However, the gambling addict of the pledge class will throw money on anything and everything. And I’m not talking five-dollar units. This kid will throw $500 on WNBA games without doing any sort of research beforehand. Once someone says, “It’s a lock”, he’s in. As long as you don’t bring him to the casino during your next formal, he should be able to still pay for the rest of his degree.
The Ladies Man
Every pledge class has that one kid who swears he pulls super hot chicks like it’s nothing. Although no one has actually ever seen the “ladies’ man” get with any of these smoke shows he talks about, why would he have any reason to lie? Well, you’ll soon find out that the so-called “dimes” he’s wheeling back to his dorm room every weekend are either uncomfortably easy or just not attractive in any way, shape, or form. It won’t take long before this kid becomes the meme of the pledge class group chat – but at least he gets play, right?
Every pledge class is different, which is what makes being in a fraternity so awesome. But, I’m pretty confident that these five characters will always pop up in pledge classes for years to come. That is, assuming the marijuana plant doesn’t go completely extinct.
