The Green M&M Is A Smokeshow

I was watching the Lakers vs. Warriors game last night and I look up and I see the love of my life on the screen. You might think that I am talking about Zendaya who was in attendance, but no. I am talking about the Green M&M. The Green M&M is a smoke show and I will not be prosecuted for having this opinion. I am currently writing this with a half-empty bag of M&M’s next to me because I’ve been eating all of them except the green ones. She doesn’t deserve that. I guess there was a controversy months ago about how corporate desexualized the green M&M but I still think she is beautiful regardless. I prefer my bite-size chocolate candies how god envisioned them to be, sexy. Now we got Big Chocolate nerfing the looks and corporate getting all WOKE. This is not the America I grew up in.

Hear me out…