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The Real Things That Should Become An Olympic Event

Today #ShouldBecomeAnOlympicEvent was trending on Twitter, and what people were suggesting sucked dick. This is what people want to become an Olympic Event.

These all suck, here’s what really should be an Olympic Event.

Rolling A Joint

This should be easy, but everybody can remember when they are 16 and roll their first joint. That shit falls apart, there’s no weed left in it, and it sucks. You get a little older, and you can actually roll a halfway decent joint, and then you try to experiment trying to roll a cross joint. You might actually be able to do it, but then when you see amazing people at it, it doesn’t compare. What Tony Greenhand can do is more than rolling a joint; that shit is art.

Drinking Games

This isn’t limited to one game, but all of the drinking games. If you’re the best at beer dye, that should be an Olympic event, same with beer pong and stack cup. Nobody wants to watch a thousand different swimming competitions; I know people would be way more interested in watching drinking games. Maybe they should make Beerfest a real thing with an entire committee.

Pulling Out

Everybody rolls the dice, and for some people it works out, and then other people end up having 5 kids. This might have to do with genetics, but I think it has more to do with skill. Do you wait until you’re about to cum, and then pull out? Or are you less of a risk taker and pull out and then finish yourself off? Regardless it should be an Olympic Event.

Chugging Beers

This is similar to drinking games, but you will see people chugging and claiming to be the fastest all over social media. There are new devices that let people chug faster and record how fast it took. That’s all good, but we want to see people compete. Imagine rooting for your country to drink as fast as humanely possible that would be electric.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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