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The Rules For A Whiteboy Summer

Boys Chester Hanks has declared it a Whiteboy Summer. So what does this mean?? I have no fucking clue, but Chester went and gave out rules and regulations for what we need to do to live that White Boy Summer.

  • No plaid shirts can’t be looking like a picnic table. Includes Ralph Lauren and Vineyard Vines.
  • Keep it simple with only a black or white tee.
  • No, Sperry Top-Siders, Chester isn’t a sneakerhead but Vans, or Jordans only.
  • You can’t call girls Smoke shows. Super lame to be like, “you see that smoke over there?”
  • No Salmon color. If you have any of that in your closet, burn it all right now.
  • Backward hats are, of course, good.
  • You can only wear a Dad hat if you have a clean fade. And it must be backward if you have it forward that is on the border of not Whiteboy Summer.
  • Not Whiteboy summer to get all drunk, sweaty, sunburnt, and walking up to people with booze breath.
  • Ban all cargo shorts.

This is coming from a man who made a Purple and White remix of Black and Yellow.

This is about the school Northwestern, a journalist school that people like Darren Rovell went to. Between this remix and Rovell tweets, Northwestern should banish these people. Chet Hanks is the nightmare for every suburban parent in 2007 who didn’t want their kids to listen to Lil Wayne. How does Tom Hanks watch these? Insert every Cast Away joke here, and being stranded on an island joke. Also, never forget that when his father had Coronavirus, Chester put this thirst trap out. He had to give the people an update on his dad while wearing no shirt and having his Illumani tattoo front and center.

What do you think?

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Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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