the godfather
Even if you go to a relatively small college, you’ve probably had at least one class in a lecture hall. But, if you haven’t, it is quite the experience. Imagine that one class you had in high school where you simply couldn’t focus no matter how hard you tried – and then amplify the levels of distraction by a thousand. Although lecture halls are dreadfully boring, I will say that they are always consistent – especially when it comes to the people you’ll see. In my experience, there are always the same three people in every lecture hall and if you look closely enough, you’ll certainly find the same thing.
The Try-Hard
Since I go to a big university, my lecture halls can be anywhere from three hundred to five hundred people. But somehow, there will always be that one kid in the lecture that everyone knows. And this isn’t because they’re a celebrity or just super outgoing. No, it’s because they sit in the very front row and will constantly interrupt the lecture to ask incredibly in-depth questions that most of the time don’t even relate to the class materials. Sure, the professor loves this kid because he can finally utilize the useless pool of knowledge that his history degree earned him, but I’m pretty confident in saying that the other couple hundred people in the class want to hit “The Try-Hard” with their car.
If you’re really unlucky, you’ll end up in a lecture with multiple try-hards. If you identify at least five of these types of people – just stay home. Your time would be much better spent reading the class textbook and studying than listening to a small discussion during every lecture. In an ideal world, we would all make our parents happy by being one of these try-hards, but that’s not gonna get you any chicks, now is it?
The NPC
If you really take a deep look at a lot of people, you could probably convince yourself that you’re surrounded by robots. Lecture halls are typically breeding grounds for these “non-playable characters” (NPCs). In every lecture hall I’ve been in, there is always at least one kid who will come in and sit down in the exact same seat every class and just stare blankly at a wall for an hour and then leave. They will never get out a laptop or notebook ever. It’s like they’re getting paid to make the class seem more full or something. It’s honestly the most bizarre thing I think I’ve seen in my life. I tried to do it once but I only lasted six minutes before I started having TikTok withdrawals.
The Gamer
A lecture hall without “The Gamer” would be like peanut butter without jelly or Subway without Jared Fogle – incomplete. “The Gamer” isn’t necessarily a singular person, but rather a category that a variety of people in lecture halls fall into. I myself fall into this category as a vast majority of the time I am so dialed into Coolmath Games during lecture that I could not tell you a single thing my professor had been talking about. While there are many other Coolmath gremlins in every lecture hall, there also exists a rare hybrid of “The Gamer” and “The Try-Hard”.
These kids are the type to bring their entire gaming laptop and mouse to lecture so they can grind League of Legends or whatever else tickles their fancy. While they don’t necessarily bother anyone, these are the last people you want to sit next to. Their gaming set-up will consume any extra leg space you might have – forcing you to get uncomfortably close to the super hot chick sitting on the other side of you. At least she smells nice.
So, as you sit down in your first lecture hall of the fall semester this year, take a couple of minutes to scout the scene. I guarantee you that you’ll see every single one of these people. And if you find yourself in the front row, just remember to not be that guy.
