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The Three Worst Types of Douchebags

The word “douchebag” has much more nuance than you might believe. We all hold an individual definition of the word, influenced by our interactions with a variety of people who are simply intolerable. While there are probably upwards of a thousand different types, here are my three worst types of douchebags (in no particular order):

The Frat Douchebag 

To be frank, the image created by fraternity brothers across the country contributes greatly to the general perception of being a douchebag. Every time I see a guy wearing an off-brand polo and a backward “Nooners” hat, my subconscious immediately labels them as a douche. They could have just won the Nobel Peace Prize and my impression of them would be the exact same. While the “frat” vibe is undoubtedly one of the douchiest out there, I think it’s safe to say that every normal college student has some sense of “frat” inside of them. So, I guess we’re all douchebags?

The “Woke” Douchebag

Although this form of douchebag is relatively new to our world, it is without a doubt one of the vilest and insufferable personality types I’ve ever encountered. These people make a conscious effort to get offended by just about any comment you could make – all because they read half of a Trevor Noah book and “frequently” listen to NPR podcasts. Most often, these people belong to groups with no history of discrimination whatsoever (or white people for short) but will tear you apart for any beliefs that don’t align with their own. If you ever see a “woke” douchebag, just take my advice and don’t engage.

The Cheapskate Douchebag 

I’m pretty confident in saying that every friend group throughout the entire world has at least one of these cheapskate douchebags. No matter how many times you send these guys a Venmo request, the $20 you spotted them for 2:00 am Taco Bell will never be returned to your wallet. The boys need an Uber? No shot the cheapskate volunteers. He probably doesn’t even have the app. Although being cheap isn’t a relationship-ending offense, just don’t be that guy. Everyone hates that guy.

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Written by the godfather

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