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The Tim Dillon Show Is The Only Thing Keeping Me Sane

In a country where:

  1. AOC sells twenty-seven dollar tee shirts that say “drink water & don’t be racist” 
  2. My Mom texts me Joe Biden memes that have been on Reddit since before he was President
  3. Girls on Twitter think Caucasian James squatting in random locations around his house is the funniest thing to ever happen
  4. There are over a million people that still believe Trump will end up being President
  5. Woke people on Twitter changed grammar, and many people like myself are afraid to vocalize that it’s confusing
  6. The D’Amelio family distributes half of this country’s fentanyl 
  7. Joe Rogan gets referred to as alt-right despite endorsing Bernie Sanders
  8. Billion-dollar corporations come out of the closet for Twitter clout in June
  9. Every black quarterback who doesn’t see playing time is a victim of racism
  10. Millions of elderly white women die each year from cardiac arrest sustained from finger-fucking themselves to Tucker Carlson Tonight
  11. Every college student who blacks out and does something embarrassing claims they were drugged at a bar
  12. Any Italian man over the age of fifty-five still casually uses the n-word in public
  13. The only hot girls on Tinder are there to promote their OnlyFans
  14. Lil Nas X claims people don’t like him because of his sexuality and not because he created satanic shoes
  15. A stubbed toe can lead to an Opioid addiction
  16. Our last President was overheard asking somebody if it was possible to Nuke Hurricanes 
  17. Our current President was over thirty years old when Pablo Picasso died 
  18. Kanye vs. Drake is a bigger news story than a vigilante group of ex-military personnel saving hundreds of lives in Afghanistan
  19. When something is deemed offensive, journalists and girls with astronomy tattoos have decided to put stars in between its letters 
  20.  Doordash has tricked us into believing that $20 is an appropriate amount to spend on a shitty take-out sub
  21. Rich people thrift, and poor people shop at Macy’s
  22. The Taliban is on Twitter, but Barry McCockiner gets banned every six months
  23. We purchase iPhones bi-annually, so we aren’t the green bubble person in the chat
  24. Alex Cooper made more money from eating Hot Cheetos and talking about sucking cock than (and I did the math) 364 electricians will make in their lifetime
  25. Senior citizens lose three billion dollars a year due to online scams

 One person has been able to keep me sane. Not since all of America tunned into Modern Family every Wednesday has a gay fat man been so prevalent in my life, but here we are. I’m not early on the Tim Dillon train; I’ve only been listening to him for the past six months. The guy has been crushing it for two years now; if anything, I’m late. But I can’t recommend it enough for those of you who don’t regularly listen to The Tim Dillon Show

The reason I enjoy Tim Dillon’s content so much is because he’s made me realize that the world is so bad and SO FAKE that it’s objectively hilarious. 

I mean, does this not hit the nail on the head?

Thank you, Tim.

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Written by Bobby D'Angelo

TFM middle school penis game champion. Rutgers student.

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