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The Tragic Downfall of Emoni Bates…

PORTLAND, OREGON - MARCH 17: Emoni Bates #1 of the Memphis Tigers handles the ball during the first half against the Boise State Broncos in the first round game of the 2022 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament at Moda Center on March 17, 2022 in Portland, Oregon. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

One of the highest ranked high school prospects in the 2021 class, Emoni Bates, has just been arrested and charged with TWO felonies! Bro! You’re eighteen years old! What the fuck are you doing? Bates was originally pulled over for failing to stop at a stop sign, and they found out he had a GUN on him amidst investigation! What???

on god this mf is six foot fucking nine at EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD.

My boy, you are SIX FOOT NINE. What do you need the strap for? Bates was a STAR at Ypsi Prep in Michigan, and was ranked around the likes of Paolo Banchero and Chet Holmgren after reclassing a year ahead. This dude is nice at ball, plain and simple. His game didn’t translate exactly how he would have expected it to in his first season, averaging 9.7 points, 3 rebounds, and an assist per game. One could argue Memphis is just asscheeks and can’t coach quality talent, but hey, who’s saying that? (me, I’m saying that.) In response, Bates did what any sane person would do, and transfer! Where’d he go, you would ask? Eastern Michigan…

RAHHHHHHHHH

Eastern Michigan might honestly be worse, I don’t really know what his game plan is, considering he’s also in some deep, federal sized shit right now. Hopefully it wasn’t the NBA! He might honestly get locked up before he gets a chance to spend a bag on those OnlyFans susbscriptions, he just turned 18! Oh well, good luck Emoni! Sending prayers for peace, stability, and one hell of a defense attorney.

What do you think?

Written by tfmroto

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