the godfather
Rush week is an important-yet-unbearable period of time for fraternities at campuses big and small across the country. Most of the time, conversations between actives and prospective new members (PNMs) are awkward, forced, and painful, with a rare enjoyable conversation popping up every now and then. These four-leaf-clovers of chats are far from the “average” conversation at rush, so if you’ve never attended a rush event, here’s how you could expect a conversation to go:
Active: So, where are you from?
PNM: I’m from [insert suburb of the nearest large city]
At this point, the conversation usually goes to die unless the PNM is from a town close to where the active is from. If the PNM is from in-state, they usually have an immediate advantage as there will be some stretch of a mutual connection that they can make with the active, even though both of them know it’s complete bullshit.
Active: Awesome, man! Did you play any sports in high school?
This question is the real turning point in the conversation. Usually, if the PNM didn’t play any sports in high school, their chances of continuing the conversation for more than a minute longer are slim to none. Also, I hate to be that guy, but tennis and water polo aren’t going to get the PNMs anywhere either. Playing football, basketball, baseball, or soccer is the ticket to finding some sort of commonality with an active, especially if the PNM was actually good at their sport too.
PNM: I played basketball and soccer, what about you?
If a PNM can make it this far, this question will be incredibly telling as to what type of guys inhabit the house they are currently rushing. If the active begins to talk about themself in a way that resembles autofellatio (I’d google that on private if I were you), then most of the other people that the PNM talks to at rush will probably be just as douchey.
Active: I was a three-sport varsity athlete for all four years but blew my knee out senior year, otherwise I would’ve been D1. What makes you think you’re a good fit for [insert fraternity abbreviation]?
There is no right answer to this question. Only wrong ones. As long as the PNM doesn’t mention anything about how they can suck down booze better than every other freshman, their chances of receiving a bid won’t completely be destroyed. However, by the time an active asks a PNM this question, they usually have already made their mind up about this little geed’s chances. After the PNM spews out whatever cookie-cutter response that their friends told them to say, the conversation will inevitably head in one of two directions.
Option #1
Active: Come with me bro, I’ll introduce you to the rush chair and some other guys.
This is a very encouraging sign. The active is going out of his way to introduce a certain PNM to way more important people in the fraternity than himself. This PNM might actually have a shot.
Option #2
Active: It was good talking with you bro, make sure to get your face around.
In this case, the PNM is likely fucked and should probably check out some other houses so they don’t end up without any options. It might seem a little counterintuitive, but “make sure to get your face around” directly translates to “I hope I never have to talk to you again” in Greek.
