Bobby D'Angelo
Guy With No Profile Picture and No Posts:
Now, I’m sure this person feels a bit lost as we watch Instagram become less and less relevant as the days go on. As Instagram dies, so does the forum where you could prove to people from high school that you are no longer a loser or show your ex that you can do better. But as a guy on Instagram for ten years, I conclude that no guy cares. We’ve heard it in a million school assemblies, but that entire app was just a fraud attempt to make it seem like your life is great. I care about what maybe nine people post on Instagram: Dwayne Wade, my ex-girlfriends, a friend from overseas, and Kevin Hart because it’s nice to see a short king winning. I guarantee you that a guy who uses Tik Tok just to scroll his for you page and doesn’t post on it much is much happier now than when he frequently used Instagram. There’s no expectation, there’s no fear that people won’t think you’re having fun in life if you don’t post what you’ve been up to- it’s just videos of Rusty Ranks beers getting hammered, guys going through positive body transformations, and life hacks.
Girl That Uses It Like Finsta:
Finsta was probably the most refreshing phase of social media because girls could show who they really were to the people who they trusted. On her main profile, she would post a picture looking tan with a sangria in her hand as a sunset grazed her left shoulder. Then seventeen minutes later, she would post a picture of her dog’s poop with a long caption about how Brody, or whatever the dog’s fucking name was, ate her Mother’s wedding ring, and they had to dig through shit to find it. I like girls that use their Tik Toks like they would use their Finstas. It’s fun to see a girl go from showing her followers how she bakes muffins to a video of her friend peeing under a street sign. It’s good to see girls actually having fun on social media instead of paying for an app to see who unfollowed them or clearly posting a picture to hundreds or thousands of people just for the validation of one person.
People Trying To Be The Next Addison Rae:
This app has destroyed the concept of relying on a media company to be something big in the digital world. I would have all of these followers if I didn’t work for a company; in fact, I’d probably have a lot more because so many people hate the name, including my friends. I encourage you to make content that requires hard work and talent like comedy sketches, sports predictions, touristry, or even reality television recaps. That being said, when somebody tries to go viral because they think they are hot enough to get millions of views on them lip-synching a Margot Robbie scene from Wolf Of Wall Street, and it gets eleven is hilarious. Welcome to the real world, be unemployed and connect with your rich Uncles’ friends on LinkedIn with the rest of us.
