The Worst College Classmates You Can Have

Even though college is technically all about getting an education, going to class is everyone’s least favorite thing to do throughout four years. Some classes will be hard, some professors will be dicks, but there isn’t anything that’s much worse than getting a complete word I can’t type on the internet stuck with you in class.

Late Adds

To be fair, this person might not actually suck, but anyone that joins a class right at the end of the add/drop period almost always causes the classroom seating arrangement to turn into one of two Japanese cities in 1945. Instead of showing up and waiting until everyone else makes their way to the seats they’ve been sitting in for the past four classes, this asshole always shows up early to talk to the professor, meaning that he’ll take the best spot in the house and cause everyone else to have to move out of their original seats.

Question Masters

This kid treats any given class like it’s office hours, but he’s always real Kyle Schwarber with it and doesn’t truly show up until right at the end of everything. Unlike Kyle Schwarber, this guy is a complete jerk off, not to mention suffering from a severely low IQ. While everyone else (professor included) eyes the clock and desperately waits for the class to end, this idiot fires off questions like my roommate fires off texts to his contacts without Y chromosomes after fourteen beers. Both are sad, but at least my roommate makes me laugh when he does it.


I don’t know about any of you, but my basic approach to interacting with my classmates in college was to keep everything at surface level and on occasional Friday mornings asking for the notes I missed while throwing up in the bathroom. Some people don’t seem to share this respect for the fact that the only thing we have in common is that this class filled a requirement and fit our schedule. I’m all for honesty, I guess, but was it really necessary to write a paper about your uncle sexually abusing you when you knew you’d have to share with the class?


Some people in classes can be really judgemental, and honestly, it’s just not nice. Sorry I called you a slur, Emily, but did it even occur to you that I drank eight beers before coming to class? Probably not, but I bet you’d wanna judge me for that, too, you skanky dildo.

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Written by TFM

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