- The Bandwagon
Everyone has that kid in their friend group who for some reason is the “biggest fan” of the best teams. He probably loves the Lakers, or at least did until this past season when his love for the Warriors was rekindled. He has at least one Yankees hat but has no idea they haven’t won shit since the Queen was young. If your hometown teams suck, you can pick ONE alternate but you have to stick with it, and always love your hometown team more. I don’t make the rules.
- The Annoying Gambler
We get it bro, you lost money this week. I dabble in gambling, as do a lot of my friends. We talk about it and give each other picks. That’s not what I mean here. What I’m talking about is that random dude at the bar that will not shut up about how all he needs for his parlay is the Celtics Bucks under. Bring it up once, and if people care they will make it clear. A good rule of thumb is that no one cares. If you keep talking about it and your parlay hits, you owe me a drink for listening to you.
- The Wayyy Too Drunk Guy
Hey, if you go to a sports venue and pay $45 for three tallboys and get a nice buzz on power to ya. This guy on the other hand pregamed way too hard and is one vodka lemonade away from projectile vomiting all over the three rows ahead of him. He has most likely tried to fight two fans of the opposing team and honestly probably a fan of his team too. I love getting rowdy and chirping as much as anyone, but just don’t be too much of an asshole.
- The Boston Fan
If you’re not a Boston fan, you probably hate us. We’re cocky and have very high expectations, especially this younger generation who got a little too accustomed to going to parades. We’ve most likely kicked the shit out of your favorite team during an important game, and if you want to hold that against us personally as fans, go for it. Whatever helps you sleep at night. They hate us cuz they ain’t us, and we have no problem chirping anyone. You should probably just get better instead of getting mad when we beat you.