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This Dr. Doesn’t Give A Shit About Your Krispy Kreme Donuts

As Malcolm wrote earlier this week Krispy Kreme is giving everyone who gets a Covid vaccine a free donut, it’s not a one-time deal either. If you truly feel like being a fat ass you can get a free donut every day. Read Malcolm’s blog here it’s very funny.

No shit Dr. Wen a donut a day isn’t healthy for anybody; thank you, Captain Obvious. Neither is eating an entire large pizza, chewing half a tin a day, and deleting 13 beers a night. I’m still kicking at 26, and if Krispy Kreme is offering me a donut a day, I’m going to take full advantage of that. It’s not like every person is going to take full advantage of this deal. Most people will do it for maybe 3 days and then forget about it as we all have the shortest attention spans. For the true die-hards, the people who need their donuts every morning just let the people live freely and have some fun. We do not want any fun police raining on our donut parade.

If I want to gain an extra 15 pounds, that’s my problem and anybody who accidentally sees my man titties in the pool’s problem. There is no body shaming after this shit year. If Covid has given us anything, it’s that people were able to stuff their faces with as much take-out and beers as humanely possible. The human race gets a mulligan this year for body appearance. That’s what I’m sticking to as I’ve gained close to 30 pounds since the beginning of this whole pandemic… whoops.

Are my friends getting a needle in their arm? Do my coworkers who hate me anyway care about me, or do they only care about the donuts? The easy answer is the donuts. If I never showed up to work ever again, they wouldn’t care as long as donuts came instead. Krispy Kreme shows me their appreciation I’m getting the vaccine, and they’re giving me donuts. It’s a straightforward transaction. For somebody who is a Dr, you would think they could get this concept.

Also, what kind of Dr has over 156 thousand followers? I don’t want any doctor I visit to know anything about the internet. I don’t want to see them watching the latest Tik Tok trend as they’re supposed to figure out if I’m going to die. How do they have the time to argue with every troll and save lives? It’s not possible, and one thing has to be sacrificed, and maybe it’s the people.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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