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This Surgery Allows You To Grow Six Inches Overnight

Attention short kings! There is finally a solution to the minuscule problem you let run your entire life. Introducing height lengthening surgery! Yep, you heard me right. There is now surgery you can get to actually make you taller.

A man in Germany who goes by the username @le_tremba on Tiktok has recently shared that after undergoing three surgeries for height lengthening, he has now officially grown a full seven inches! That’s two fully erect penises in my experience.

The unnamed 21-year-old traveled from Germany to Turkey just to find a private clinic that would perform the surgeries, and they aren’t easy. According to the medical genius responsible for the surgery, Dr. Shahab Mahboubian — who sounds like he makes most of his money from illegal organ harvesting — the procedure begins by intentionally breaking both of the patient’s legs. He then uses magnets to internally stretch the bones, joints, muscles, and skin out. Isn’t that neat! As a result, patients can see results adding more than a half-foot to their heights.

After the procedure, the man has grown from 5’8’’ to 6’3’’. In what world is 5’8’’ considered “short?” I’m not saying he’s tall, but as someone who is a proud 5’9’’ (5’10’’ on my license), there is no reason to go through what this guy did just to be able to touch the rim of a basketball hoop. I mean money aside, this guy needed to fully break both of his legs, relearn how to walk, and put all of his trust in a Turkish man that he probably met on the black market.

When asked why he wanted the procedure done, the man replied “confidence.” If you are insecure about your height at 5’8’’, there is just no way to regain your confidence no matter what physical changes you make to your body. Have some self respect.

The only time I could see this surgery being useful is for people that are legitimately short or on the brink of being a giant. If you’re 4’11’’ and incapable of reaching the pedals when driving, sure by all means go ahead and get yourself some extra inches. Or if you’re like 6’7’’ and want to make the NBA, but just don’t have the skill, I could see why you would want to balloon to 7’2 to join the Shanghai Sharks. Anything outside of those reasons is pure idiocracy. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself, no one is going to like you more for being taller. If anything, getting this procedure just makes you seem like a superficial, shallow tool that has absolutely no self worth.

If for some reason you’ve read all that and still think this is a good idea, first off you’re a psycho, but second you’re in luck because it seems that private clinics are beginning to offer this treatment in the US. According to Ladbible, height lengthening surgeries can be found in America, but not without spending a pretty penny. With multiple surgeries required and not many “doctors” offering the service, height lengthening in the US could range between $70,000 to $260,000.

If you have that type of money but lack confidence in yourself please know there are other courses of action for you to take. Buy a big car that insuates your penis is also large. Throw money around at hot bimbos you meet at nightclubs. Maybe even buy yourself a chain like you’re a rapper that made it out the mud. These are all way less risky and permanent than intentionally crippling yourself. What do I know though? I’m just a peasant that can fit in a twin size bed.

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Written by Alex Becker

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