Caroline Bano
Every night I do my nightly routine of reading Reddit threads until I spiral into a dark hole of depression and anxiety.
A few days ago, on the thread AskMen, someone asked this question.
There were a lot of heartbreaking responses. A few about missing ex-wives’ kids. Mostly responses about the pressures of being a man. There were at least two responses about being the victim of domestic abuse in a relationship from their girlfriends.
All of these responses hint at this belief that a “real” man should be an “alpha male.” Someone with no emotions and no insecurities. Someone who could never be abused emotionally or physically.
Here are some responses I screenshot.
There is obviously a sexism issue in our society. Women are not respected or treated correctly. However, there is also this belief that men should be distant from their insecurities and fears. Men are considered less than if they’ve “allowed” themselves to be abused. Or if they are anxious about the future.
These feelings are only human. The idea of a man being the “alpha” and strong all the time is impossible. It is much more productive to realize that truth and work on those emotions. You’re facing those emotions, which is very brave.
I wish men and women understood each other better. I find men to be very apathetic to the female struggle. However, in return, we don’t give them any room to be real people.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, men are human too. You don’t have to pretend you have it figured out. Also, I want to date a man whose in therapy.
