the godfather
After picking up golf a couple of summers ago, I’d say I’m a decently mediocre golfer. I understand the game and the etiquette that goes along with it – but I’m usually never the best out of any given foursome. I’ve learned that golf is much more enjoyable when you’re playing well, but that isn’t always the case. When I play poorly (which is more often than not), golfing just isn’t fun, and I’m sure that many of you out there have had similar experiences. But, I’ve found a couple of things that make golfing a hell of a lot better during those rounds where you’re happy to make bogey. Here are my three essentials to enjoy eighteen holes if you end up sucking:
Music
If you end up playing with a group of hardcore golfers, music is usually frowned upon. But, when you’re on pace to shoot a 110 for the day, music is an absolute must. Before you hit the links, make sure you’ve got a nice speaker charged up and ready to go (maybe even a solid playlist if you feel inclined). Driving your cart towards a sand bunker while playing “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” is significantly less depressing than simply listening to yourself whine as you cuss out your 6-iron. I’m typically a big country guy on the course but you really can listen to any genre of music you’d like to. Just make sure to keep the volume down if you’re stuck behind a group of geriatrics.
24-Pack of Top Flites
Even if the course you’re playing doesn’t have a crazy amount of water, losing balls is an inevitable part of sucking at golf. The last thing you want to be worried about on the twelfth hole is having a single ball left. Now, a 24-pack of golf balls might seem a little excessive, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. You might be wondering why I specifically referenced Top Flites as the ball of choice. Well, to put it frankly, Top Flites are exactly like your golf game; they blow. Top Flites might not be the best quality of ball, but they are super cheap, which makes it hurt a lot less when you shank one onto the neighboring fairway.
Booze
If – and when – the YouTube swing tutorials you watched twenty minutes before your round fail to miraculously fix your golf game, there is truly only one option to salvage your round: alcohol. The “golf beer” is undoubtedly a top three situational beer of all time as it turns an awful display of athletic ability into a great couple of hours with the fellas. If you’re lucky, the course you’re playing at will allow a cooler, but if not, you can easily sneak a wide assortment of beverages into your golf bag. I’m not sure if you can get a DUI in a golf cart, but whipping around a fairway while sipping a cold one is what I consider to be the eighth wonder of the world.
In summary, if you belong to the population of golfers who will be lucky to get the ball in the air (let alone straight), you’ll certainly need some tunes, extra Top Flites, and adult beverages to ensure that you enjoy your time out on the course. While you could take extra time out of your daily life to practice, I’d rather just stick to relying on these three things to liven up my round. I mean, a great shot becomes even greater when you suck at golf, right?
