Listen, I want equality for everyone just as much as the next guy. I won’t pretend to take a very active role in “social activism,” and that’s mainly because, well (aside from being a lazy piece of garbage), most of the people that are heavily involved tend to find me somewhat “politically incorrect.” That’s fine with me. I can defend comedy and satire a different time, but I do have some serious pieces of advice for anyone who really does want to make that their life. Because if you’re in that group – in case you hadn’t noticed – rational people everywhere hate your fucking guts. That’s not because they’re against the things you’re promoting, it’s because you act like assholes.
Number One: Stop Using Your Personal Social Media to Promote This Stuff
I get it. We all have a civic duty to make issues known blah blah blah. Instagram and Snapchat aren’t the place for that. I have about as much interest in seeing your thoughts on transgender rights pop up on my feed as I do in watching transgender porn. Your fourteen-slide Instagram story isn’t changing anyone’s mind, it’s just forcing me to spend more time skipping through it and delaying me from getting my eyes on stuff I actually do want to see on Instagram – like boobs. If you genuinely want to change something then get involved with an organization, donate to one, or join a protest or a march because shoving your views down people’s throats on social media just makes you seem like an insufferable douche. Speaking of protests and marches…
Number Two: If You’re Going to Protest, Don’t Inconvenience Everyone Else
Hey, protests and marches are great! They’re protected under the first amendment. America! But here’s the thing: when you decide to do it on a college campus or in the middle of a city, a weekday is probably the wrong time to do that. You want people to see you? Fair. You don’t want to make it difficult for people to get to? Completely understandable. But for fuck’s sake. When you do it in the middle of the god damn week all you’re doing is slowing down an exhausted college kid from getting to an exam that he spent all night studying for or a single mom from getting home from work to put dinner on the table for her kids. All these movements are about respect for all people, so how about showing some respect for everyone who’s just trying to make it through the day because sometimes that’s a hard fucking thing to do. That’s not even to mention the fact that if you just did it on a Saturday, there would be a lot more people that’d be able to show up.
Number Three: Stop Preventing Opposing Views From Holding Speaking Events
In the last section, I talked about the first amendment. It’s what lets all of you hold protests and marches. It’s a good thing. It’s also what allows people who have opposing opinions to state their beliefs and ideas. Will some of those ideas be incredibly insensitive and morally reprehensible? Of course. But how are you going to get anything at all done if you stop people from sharing a view different from your own? Don’t you want these people that you call bigots and *insert group here*phobes to publicly state their ideas? You can’t fight for something if you’re silencing the opposing viewpoints. Can you really not see the blatant hypocrisy of using your first amendment right to assembly to try and prevent someone else from using their own first amendment right to free speech? That’s like intentionally taking a shower knowing that the first thing you’re going to do when you get out is take a shit. You just don’t do it.
Anyway, as I sit here from my straight-white-male high horse and say all this, I hope it’s clear that in a lot of ways, I am on your side. I want the best for everyone, too. But for the love of Christ, if you guys just took a second to think about how unbelievably annoying you act 99% of the time and changed some stuff around, you might actually get something done. With all that being said, feel free to throw away every meaningful and objectively true thing I just said, choose to get outraged at a guy that’s genuinely just trying to show you why people hate you so much, and continue to see zero results.