Alex Becker
Do you have snakes in your grass? Here are three ways to tell if you are truly friends with someone.
Passing The Time At A Meal
If you are eating with a real friend of yours, you do not need to speak once in order to have a good time. All you have to do is pick a good restaurant, split an appetizer, and be there. No one likes forced conversation. If it’s not flowing, it’s not flowing, so be it. Just because you two are friends doesn’t mean you have anything to say to each other right now, and that’s okay. Sit on your phone, wait for the food to come out, and then just eat. Now, I’m not saying you should purposefully ignore your friends in a restaurant, this isn’t an elevator. Chances are you will end up talking throughout the majority of the meal, but at the same time, there are also bound to be lulls in conversation. True friends embrace the silence and start sending Snapchats to other friends, not fill the space with some boring ass story from when they peaked in high school.
Texting “Yo” Before You Ask A Question
If you are truly friends with someone, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you last spoke, you will still text them as if they are sitting directly next to you. That means there’s no bullshit “hey how you been man” or “yo been awhile what’s good” as an ice breaker. Instead, you get straight to the point.
For example, since I’ve started blogging for TFM, I’ve needed some friend’s help figuring out if certain things are relatable or if I’m just a freak revealing my own disturbing secrets. As a result, I often send very out-of-pocket texts to friends that I haven’t spoken to in months. Some of these texts include “do you jerk off when your mom is home?” and “what’s the symbol for white power?” Though both are very real texts I have sent, I promise the second one was not what it sounds like. Regardless, my friends sent me back their true answers without any judgment and minimal questioning. That’s true friendship right there. I didn’t dilly-dally asking them how their day was and all that nonsense because they know I don’t care about that. It would look like I was texting them just to use them. Though that was the case, there is no reason to hide that if they really are your friend.
How You Act At Their House
The best way to know how close you and your friends are is by the way you behave at each other’s houses. If you don’t act like you live there, odds are they probably secretly hate you. For starters, if you knock on the door you may as well just get back in your car and drive away. What are you doing? Asking for permission to enter? If you need to warn someone of your presence that probably means they don’t want you there in the first place. Now, once you make it in the house, what do you do with your shoes? This is a question you ask yourself when you are merely a guest in someone’s house, not a friend in someone’s house — there’s a big difference. See, a guest wonders whether they should remove their shoes asian style or keep them on in order to contain their heinous foot odor, while a friend kicks those bad boys off the moment they step into air conditioning. It’s not about being polite, it’s all about comfort. Speaking of comfort, when at a true friend’s house you are in charge of getting your own shit. No more letting the host decide when you are hungry or want a snack. If you need a refreshment of some sort, you do the good ol’ refrigerator search like everyone else in that household. Nothing in there is off-limits either. That means fruits, frozen pizzas, even leftovers are all on the table. And if there is a poor selection, you should have no problem voicing your opinion. Don’t feel rude for rummaging through their belongings, instead just know you are actually being super helpful by doing things for yourself. Trust me, they’ll be appreciative of your kindness.
