Today In Baseball

You know those videos of the make-a-wish kid going to Homecoming with the hottest girl in school? That’s the Cincinnati Reds right now. The Reds are undergoing this reverse Rudy Guliani character arc, where they were the biggest joke in baseball, and now you have to respect them because they are beating up on the Brewers like an Irish guy in the 30’s coming home to a cold meal.

Angels rookie Reid Detmers threw a no-no last night which in itself is impressive, but what’s even more impressive is that he did it off of two strikeouts. The Angels have gone from the we’ll see category, to the oh shit they are fucking good category faster than a guy going in raw for the first time. 

Speaking of the Angels, Justin Verlander’s brother Ben was in tears last night at their game, watching his older brother come *this* close to a no-hitter of his own. Justin Verlander is pitching gas, CNN is pumping out Trump content like that one kid on Tik Tok that does the frat-bro impression, and I saw some kid ripping a Juul today…are we returning back to 2018?

Much like a forty-two-year-old MILF going home with the corpse of an ex-hedge-fund guy, Aaron Judge is doing everything he needs to in order to secure the fucking bag. You know something is special about this Yankees team when their fans go from complaining unbearably back to 27 rings bro. If I’m a rich baseball player, I haven’t feared the Bronx this much since, well, probably my first time walking around in that shithole. 

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