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Top 5 Beers you will have during Syllabus Week

5. The Beer after Class

I’m not sure if there is anything better than getting home after a long first week back, than unwinding with a chilly one after your 4 o’clock class on Friday. Teachers introducing themselves, seeing some familiar faces on campus, and getting back into the school routine really takes a toll on you. I’m glad we can all understand that. So going into your fridge and consuming a greaser with your backpack still on just feels right.

4. Number 15 on Thursday Night

The fellas are getting after it considering all you did on that fine Thursday afternoon was wait until 4PM to drink, just so you didn’t feel like a complete degenerate. You’ve been chatting in the group-chat since the end of last semester how it would be cool to have a case race during fall semester. Your buddy, still drunk from the night before chimes in when he finally wakes up at 2pm. Just to tell the chat, “Case race or u a pussy.” So the fellas group up and all together spend $200 on ten 30 racks of Natural Light at the local campus liquor store that would sell you booze if you showed them a card of Pikachu from ’97. 4PM hits and fellas are itching to get athletic, you start a timer counting down from 10 and once it gets to 0 you’re off to the races. Roughly an hour and a half later you get done with number 14. You hated naturals before this, now you’re not sure if you can even look at the can without gagging. You power through and win the race.

3. The 2 warms for 1 cold

Yes you are giving a beer away, and yes the pledge you just met has had a case of Coors in his backpack thats nearly the size of him for 3 hours, but you have a fridge and he does not. You notice he’s walking around the house with the mountains grey on the can, you feel kinda bad but then again you were there at one point. You offer him a cold one for two warm ones. He happily obliges and you stick the beers he gave you in the freezer. So when he asks for another you take two more and give him one of his back, he’s just giving his beer away for free to make them cold. I love pledges.

2. The Beer during the Darty

It’s 85 degrees, the sun is shining, and it is absolutely bodied. The crowd makes it hotter than it really is and there is nothing better than a cold drink when you’re sweating balls.

1. The free one

This is just straight up not debatable. While #3 you have to sell one to make one profit, this free one is a gift from the beer gods.

Have a week you filthy animals.

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Written by tfmnomo

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