5. Post Exam Pee – This piss comes once in a blue moon, but when it happens, it seems to occur at the worst times. This pee usually hits you mid-way through a final or a midterm that you need to ace to get a good grade in the class. Every time you try and distract yourself by focusing on the question you are on, you hear the guy behind you pop open his sticker-ridden hydro flask and take a big gulp of water. You probably end up racing through the rest of your test so you can let this pee out, and my god does it feel amazing to finally let it all out. Although you probably bombed that test, at least you were able to have a quality pee.
4. Side of the Bar Pee- This pee is pretty common but, sure is a risky one. Bar bathrooms are one of many things, accessible is not one of them. You can easily wait an hour in line to use the bathroom at a bar. Or, you could risk it to piss it. You could run out back for a quick “smoke,” and draw your ex’s face with urine on a nearby fence. Again this is a risky pee, if you are caught by a cop, the possibility of being put on the naughty makes this not seem worth it. However, if you are not caught, this makes for a very thrilling tinkle.
3. Post Sports Team Win Pee – It’s the bottom of the ninth, two outs, and the bases are juiced. Your boys need one more out and they’re world champions. You have had to pee since the 6th inning but getting out of your chair could screw up the mojo of the boys, so you have to push through. There’s a deep drive to right but, the outfielder catches it and the game is over. After screaming and jumping around like a kid telling his friends he lost his virginity in 8th grade you book it straight to the bathroom. After getting to the urinal with tears running down your face, you have the most euphoric whizz of your life and one you tell your grandchildren about.
2. Mid Dye Game Pee- These pees are essential to clear your mind during the game. Whether you are winning or losing, the feeling of peeing outside is hardly comparable to another pee. With the birds chirping and the sun blazing down on you, it seems like you are in a dream.
1. Post-Sex Pee- This is a pee every man can enjoy. If you’ve been rizzing up a girl and putting in extraneous work for her and you finally get to bag her, this pee is where you are rewarded. That brief 2-3 minutes you get after your finish and you are walking to the bathroom and you’re punching the air excitement, is a reward every man should strive to attain. Making this the best pee a man can have in college.