With everyone just about starting the semester, I thought I’d give a list of a few things I hate about college that collectively suck more than the Houston Texans.
1. Canvas: Honestly, I don’t think there is anything quite worse then waking up hungover to a Canvas notification reminding you that you have a Gender Studies Paper due in an hour or a notification that says you just fucking bombed your Art and History Mid-term. Either way, you don’t really give a shit so you toss in a zyn, roll over, and act like you never saw the thing in the first place.
2. Lectures: I think this one is kinda a given, but still, nothing I hate more than wasting a perfectly good afternoon in a lecture hall sweating my ass off . Trying to listen to an hour-long lecture about an event that took place 60 plus years ago is just not how I want to spend my afternoon when I can just as easily buy a bottle of Travelers Club and place bets on the Red Sox with money I don’t have.
3. Taking the Buses: Not sure how relatable this one may be for some of ya’ll but if you are like me, sometimes you have to catch a bus to get to class. Taking the bus anytime between the hours of 12pm through 6pm on my college campus is pretty reminiscent of the events that took place on D-Day. Students storm the buses, shove their peers, and trample poor little freshmen all too cram into the shitty school provided buses that will make you 20 minutes late anyways. You are probably better off walking or honestly not even going at all
4. My College House: This was a tough one for me to put on the list because although I made some pretty good memories in that house, it doesn’t make up for the fact that the place was in worse shape then Hefty Lefty (RIP). For starters, the place was always in a constant state of looking as if somebody staged a home invasion inside. Shattered windows, broken bottles, missing doors and scattered clothing could be found on basically every floor. Lack of hot water was also a glaring flaw that I will never get over. Fuck that house.
5. Roommates: Having to share personal space with one of your fellow degenerates is something that I’ve grown to dislike over the years. In my experience, a roommate of mine, who shall not be named, constantly interrupted my time either surfing the hub or giving precise call outs to the fellas in intense 3 v. 1 situations in War Zone. The lack of privacy along with constant fear of being woken up to see if I wanted to take geebs at 4am is partly why I hate sharing a room with a person that was specifically made only for one dude.