Translating Your Girlfriend’s News: Kim K Posts Tristan Thompson on IG

News today is bullshit. It’s a whole lot more uplifting to follow sports scores and movie updates then what’s actually affecting the world we live in. But to add another layer of complexity to this equation, men and women are paying attention to entirely different circles of the world, so it can be tough to find common ground. I’ve decided that I’ve seen too many young men attempt to rizz by describing the emotional climax to Avengers: Endgame. As a result, I feel the need to translate the events happening on their Twitter feed, so we can all find a conversational middle ground. 

Today’s News: Kim Kardashian posted a picture of Tristan Thompson on her Instagram story of him after the Lakers win over the Warriors in game three of their series. The significance here, is that Tristan Thompson has had a relationship with Kim’s sister Khloe that has been very off and on due to Thompson’s inability to keep his schlong in his schweats. 

Kim Kardashian was one of the only people in the arena with a seat as good as Tristan Thompson, as they both sat on the floor to watch the Lakers beat the Warriors to take a 3-1 series lead over the Warriors. Afterwards, Thompson posed for a picture for Kim’s Instagram story, and the world was confused by the friendliness between the two given Thompson’s history with the Kardashians. The next morning, this post was taken down with no explanation. This has led fans of the Kardashians to speculate on the meaning of this post. 

In this situation, Kim Kardashian is one of your best friends from high school who you lost contact with after going to college. You still love him like a cousin, but most of your conversations are over social media and you only ever see him when you guys end up drunk in the same city. Despite this, you pay attention to his Instagram feed. You are curious how he’s doing, after all. You click on his story one night and expect to see the same sports team’s final score that he always posts, when BAM! There it is. A video of the least favorite ex-girlfriend from the group taking a shot at some shitty dive bar. Yes, it’s fair for them to both be there. But no, that’s not what his story should look like. You swipe up and leave a few question marks in his DMs, but all that happens is the post gets removed. This leaves you feeling all sorts of confused. Is my friend just that oblivious to think about the context of what he puts on the internet? Is she back with the friend you two have in common? Is everyone else ok with it? Because you certainly aren’t.

Clearly, this is very big for fans of the Kardashians and their sex lives. Ask your girlfriend what she thinks about it. I promise she’s dying to tell you. 

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Written by TFM

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