News today is bullshit. It’s a whole lot more uplifting to follow sports scores and movie updates then what’s actually affecting the world we live in. But to add another layer of complexity to this equation, men and women are paying attention to entirely different circles of the world, so it can be tough to find common ground. I’ve decided that I’ve seen too many young men attempt to rizz by describing the emotional climax to Avengers: Endgame. As a result, I feel the need to translate the events happening on their Twitter feed, so we can all find a conversational middle ground.
Today’s News: Megan Fox did an interview for her recent appearance on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. In the interview she talked about her own struggles with body dysmorphia, saying, “There is never a point in my life where I loved my body, ever.” Apparently body dysmorphia is a pretty big deal for women, but I’m typically watching videos of Subway Surfers in my head anytime the topic is brought up. Megan Fox opened up about going through these same issues with her confidence, despite being a staple of my sexual fantasies sex icon for years now.
This situation is pretty big for women everywhere. Imagine this as the friend of yours that you have to hide from every girl you’ve ever liked to ensure he doesn’t become her next sexual fantasy. He’s the Vincent Chase of your group. Over the past month, he’s hooked up with a wider variety of girls than you’ve tickled your pickle to. You and the rest of your friends secretly want to be this guy. This guy comes to you after a bad date and says he gets anxious around women. You’re surprised. You thought the only sexual worries he had rhymed with burpees, or shmifaliss. But nope, you have to hear the from the guy whose life you would swap with in an instant about the issues of being jacked and six foot three. His complaints fall on deaf ears, because you think it is impossible to sympathize with him. But you also take comfort in the fact that what you are going through happens to everyone. It doesn’t just happen to guys like us because we’re ugly, and as much as we hate to admit it, that’s an absolute win. If this isn’t enough to prove my point, put Ryan Gosling in the role of the handsome friend. You’d hate him for it, but you would know for a fact that it’s an issue every guy deals with.
If this proves to you one thing, it’s that you should tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful. If Megan Fox struggles with self-esteem, hers might be in the shitter. It’ll make her day, and possibly get you laid as well.
