Two Robbers Broke into a UCLA Frat

A man and a woman broke into a fraternity house on UCLA’s campus Friday morning, and stole a large number of laptops, electronics, and other property according to the UCLA Police Department. It’s a good thing that the burglars decided to bring an even ratio of guys to girls for this robbery, otherwise there would be no chance they would’ve gotten in. 

No one was hurt in the robbery and nobody saw the thieves, apparently. Not many other details of the case have been shared, which tells me this is even more embarrassing for the members of this frat than the news has led us to believe. First of all, this happened at eight am. I’m no morning person, but how is not even one person awake and attentive enough to hear this happening. I’m thinking that’s not the case, and one of these guys probably came face to face with an unarmed woman and ran for his life. I think cryptic reporting comes from the members of this fraternity who wanted to protect their reputation.  

Honestly, I’m impressed by the decision of the burglars to choose a frat house in the middle of the morning. Even after they got into the house without being asked to name five brothers, they probably found themselves in what looked like a clean version of a crack den. They truly got lucky that none of the guys were in between their pre-workout and the three sets of bench press they do to justify the caloric disrespect they treated their bodies with the night before. I think that these robbers got very lucky that they got away with this crime. Every frat has at least one guy who would love to punch a hole in a thief instead of a wall just one time. We all know him, and we’d all love to let him unleash on someone trying to take the thing we use to masturbate study.

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Written by TFM

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