This is going to sound cocky, but this is my best find yet. This is my version of your boy showing you Jack Harlow in his Grand Cherokee two years ago and saying, I know he looks kind of goofy, but I’m telling you just listen to this guy.
Week 4: Zoe Bloom
I mean…does this girl not look like she could be an Alpha Phi at pretty much any school ever? She’s twenty-one years old and having a rookie season in what will be an illustrious career in the adult film industry. In two years’ time, she’s going to be America’s step-sister, but I’m putting you on her stock right now. Her PornStar rank is 650. That’s preposterous.
In order to get paid for this blog, I have to add more characters, so I’m just going to paste the lyrics to Sweet Emotion, and you guys are going to upvote this blog and immediately hit incognito. Happy Wednesday, everybody!
You talk about things that nobody cares
Wearing out things that nobody wears
You’re calling my name but I gotta make clear
I can’t say, baby, where I’ll be in a year
Some sweat hog mama with a face like a gent
Said my get up and go, must’ve got up and went
Well I got good news, she’s a real good liar
‘Cause the backstage boogie sets your pants on fire
I pulled into town in a police car
Your daddy said I took it just a little too far
You’re telling her things but your girlfriend lied
You can’t catch me ’cause the rabbit done died
Yes it did
Stand in the front just a shakin’ your ass
I’ll take you backstage, you can drink from my glass
I’ll talk about something you can sure understand
‘Cause a month on the road and I’ll be eating from your hand