TFM
People say it’s impossible to say which family member of yours you love the most. That might be true, until someone dies and it’s time to divvy up dollars and cents. When that happens, it’s very easy to tell who is the most loved. To guarantee a win over your stupid siblings, here are some tips to manipulate your grandparents’ will in your favor.
Take Your Grandparents to Lunch
This is an example of the one thing I learned in my time in Macroeconomics, a long-term investment. This will brighten their day, and make them think that you are invested in their life. Obviously, this is just an opportunity to brighten their day and give them something to do. If you’re lucky, they’ll be so excited they might even pay. Then this becomes a real bargain in the long run. Just don’t invite your siblings, and casually mention that they said they had better things to do.
Register Your Siblings as Sex Offenders
This one is a great way to guarantee you come off like the best grandchild. Tell your grandparents that your siblings were recently arrested for sexual battery. It’s not that hard to register someone as a sex offender, so actually do it in case she asks for proof. This will prove to be very lucrative for you in the future, when your grandmother doesn’t want to leave her money to a group of perverts.
Make Up a Charity
It’s good to have some things that make you look good, instead of just making your competition look bad. This is also easy to do without actually doing any of the hard work. Just create a basic website that looks good enough to fool an elderly person. This means you need to add a title, and maybe a basic logo. After this, just create a name with some alliteration that sounds like it could be a charity. It can be something really stupid, like “Hats for Horses.” It might sound dumb, but your image in your grandparents’ eyes will improve, and they might even throw you some money to contribute.
Get Your Grandparents Addicted to You
Sneak a nicotine patch onto their arm whenever you are around them. Overtime, they will associate a happy feeling with your presence. When they go to update their will, they will remember the happy feeling they get when they are around you. Again, just try to not be around your siblings when doing this so they can’t reap the benefits of your ingenuity.
